Thursday, June 07, 2007
BB 2007: Australia vs UK
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 Barely into week 2 of the UK Big Brother journey and some serious controversy has seen the lover of "new music" trend 'Indie', Emily, ejected from the house.
Before I discuss what she actually did to have herself removed, let's take a look at one of the more exciting moments week 2 of the Australian Big Brother house provided us:
Inside Emma, TJ, Travis and Andrew taste the chickpeas Emma cooked. "They're a great little snack - with salt they are almost as good as chips," says Andrew.
Gripping. I'm sure my International readers are absolutely kicking themselves they are missing out on such quality, Australian made reality television.
Now, compare THAT conversation, with the one which, also from week 2 - but this time in the UK - saw Emily booted from the Big Brother house last night at 3:30AM...
(To Javine Charley - a lady of colour - whilst dancing) "You pushing it out you nigger."
Followed by...
"Don't make a big thing out of it, I was only joking."
...............
Obviously I am not implying there is anything great or awesome about being a racist pig, but, you know, some actual controversy that didn't involve someone's Dad dying probably wouldn't do any harm to the Australian Big Brother's ratings, would it? I don't want someone on there to throw around racial slurs, but how about actually putting some interesting people in the house so as we may be guaranteed some actual entertainment? The two interesting people - Bodie & Demet - were booted out early on, leaving us with an entire house of incredibly dull blondes, bimbos, biceps. Oh and of course, the Mormon and the annoying/fatal attraction-esque geek. For the first time in, well, forever, I am actually beginning to think that Home & Away would be a more pleasing ritual. I know.
Within 8 days the UK Big Brother has already managed to provide more entertainment, excitement, enjoyment and more watchable-bitchiness than we have seen in 47 days of the Australian one. Within 1 WEEK of the UK Big Brother beginning there has been more to talk about than the last 7 WEEKS the Australian one has provided. (Granted, when the censors 'forgot' to beep out Bodie's use of the word "cunt" during a 7pm family time slot, was pretty priceless.)
I would also hate to say this, but there is every possible chance that UK Big Brother host, Davina McCall, is actually a smidge better than our lovely Gretel Killeen, who regular readers will know I worship quite unhealthily.
I have virtually given up on the Australian Big Brother. For the first time in 7 years (I've enthusiastically watched every single episode since the first series in 2001), I am so uninterested that I've only been watching eviction night, and the first five minutes of Nominations night, only to see what Gretel is wearing.
Don't cry for me fellow readers. The truth is, I don't even miss it. I'm not even sad about it. After last years terrible series, it's almost as if I somehow broke up with it then. Isn't that pathetic? I broke up with a TV show! What is even more pathetic is that it took me almost a full year to realise. My thirst for watching a bunch of idiots caged in a house has not dampened, for I now have Davina to keep me warm at night. Last year I dabbled in daily youtube clips of the UK Big Brother ("I'M! SO! COLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!" "Who IS SHE?! WHO. IS SHE?!!!"), and read the online diaries quite obsessively. This year, I'm just downloading the whole lot and forcing all of my friends to watch it with me instead of the Australian one. We already have our favourites, are already messaging each other with daily thoughts on our new British friends, and are wishing now more than ever that we actually lived over there.
I possibly doubt this will be my last UK Big Brother related post. But don't panic, I do plan on talking about some music over the next few days, particularly McFly, Madge and some other tidbits.Labels: Awful Television, Big Brother, Cunts, Gretel Killeen
Friday, March 23, 2007
BB07 : One Month Away?
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 According to a source that is probably not very reliable, Big Brother is set to return to Australian television sets in JUST OVER A MONTH'S TIME. Forget the contestants, forget the Diary-room drama's, forget the weekly task, forget Bree, Fryzie and Mike, and FORGET the up-late game show, for this season - as is the case EVERY SINGLE YEAR - is to be all about the shows wondrous host, Gretel Killeen.
Admire her brilliance. Look at her perfectly flowing hair, the jovial stance she produces with her hands on her hips combined with a knock-out smile, look at those fabulous breasts, those marvellous teeth, et bloody cetera. Isn't she just AMAZING? Haven't you MISSED HER OH SO MUCH?
We've had so many memorable Gretel moments over the last 7 years, but none more so than last year when Gretel got stuck into contestant Michael when he made a comment about clever editing...
"Listen mate, if you're going to tell me when I've worked on a show for six years, that we have edited something..."
And then there was 2005's Grand Finale frock. You may recall it ABSOLUTELY STOLE THE SHOW THAT NIGHT, alongside Vesna's fabulous breasts almost popping out of her top.
Stunning.
Labels: Gretel Killeen
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