On Tuesday night I felt very, very old. It didn't help that I was at an all-ages Arctic Monkeys gig. What probably didn't help even more was that I was in the very front row of what would, 6 minutes into their set, turn into the most outrageous mosh-pit I'd ever encountered in my life. Surrounded by 16 to 18 year olds. Moshing. Pushing. Knocking me and others over. Did I mention there was pushing? Yeah, there was a lot of that. These bastards were distracting me from appreciating the greatest rock band of the 21st century at the fullest. Now, my problem with this lies with the fact that I'd been waiting outside Festival Hall, in the freezing cold, since 4pm. All in order to secure myself a front-of-stage position so I could stare at my darling Alex (click for bigger pics) whilst he sung to me. Within seconds of the Monkeys opening their set (ironically with "This House Is A Circus"), the temperature in the "mosh" area (which had been labeled "standing" area on my ticket thank you very much) rose from about 25 degrees Celsius to about 45. THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION. As the second song began, I'd decided that the minute I could take a photo of Alex on stage up close, I'd grab my bag from the barricade and push my way out of the prime spot I'd secured. There was no point. I couldn't breathe. I was thirsty. There was a thick stench of beer, teenage sweat and alarmingly sharp body odor mixed with the cheap, locker-room sprays of Lynx lingering through the air. Whilst this all may sound like the setting of some delicious erotic fantasy, delicious; it was not. Erotic; it was not. And most definitely sexy; it was not. Sexy? No, No, No. On top of all that, my attempts at reaching for my camera were doomed. The second I'd placed my hand in my pocket to pull it out (the camera folks), I realised that the very second i took the photo-maker out of my pocket, I'd never see it again. It was all pretty upsetting and I reluctantly grabbed my backpack and began to push my way through to the back of the hall. On my travels, a young girl who'd noticed me leaving latched her arms around my waist and begged my kind self to take her with me; her face was pale and she looked like she was seconds away from death. The poor thing. So I allowed this random stranger (and three of her friends) to latch onto me in a conga-line fashion whilst I charged my way through a sea of fucking idiots.
The further I walked away from the front, the older people got. By the time we'd reached the bar, I was actually spotting people my own age. Some of them were even older! It was like I'd just undergone some sort of biblical revelation; I can only put this down to the fact that I was seconds away from hyperventilating and was suffering from serious dehydration. I got a bottle of water into my hands. Started to drink it. Picture me shaking so much because of how drained I was after my crowd-related, life draining incident. I couldn't believe it; I then spent about 20 minutes trying to calm myself down and barely paid the amount of attention I should have to the set. I sang along to songs, but if you asked me what songs they played during that 20 minutes I'd have no fucking clue.
I eventually found a spot near the side which allowed me to enjoy the remains of the show. I ended up with no on-stage shots, which I was a little disappointed about. But I was more upset about having to leave my well-earnt position up front. Seriously though,the mere thought of trying to last another 6 minutes in those conditions probably would have brought on a heart attack.
The show was great. I may have spent 20 minutes in my own little water-sipping world but the last 55 were probably the best 55 I've spent at a concert in ages. The boys were phenomenal and Alex gave the crowd a few gorgeous monologues in between songs here and there. No surprise covers or anything either; it was all strictly Arctic tracks. BUT then again, they could very well have sung "Biology" during that 20 minute time frame and I wouldn't be able to confirm it. I would like to add, in regards to my surroundings, that Festival Hall is by far the very WORST live music venue in Melbourne and its demolition is LONG overdue. The only seated areas in an Indie-type of show are so far to the sides of the stage that it just isn't worth the money you pay. If you're going to shove people who've paid the same amount of cash as those up the front, at least provide them with large screens to view the show. But nope, not a single screen in sight, just a glimmer of a couple of tiny bodies playing some instruments.
So the show ended and I was determined to at least try and get one of my CD's signed. Out in the cold again, I stood for up to 3 hours (which explains the horrible, horrible flu I have right now) with a bunch of kids aged between 15 and 18. They were talking about assignments they had due the following day, and some were discussing the exams they had coming up. It only made me feel older. I was--once again--the only person there over the age of 18. And I'm quite a few years departed from 18. Anyway, after a pizza delivery guy dropped off 8 boxes of pizza, a bus-boy delivered two bins filled with ice and bottles of beer, Alex and the boys eventually emerged from the side doors of Festival Hall. Jamie waved but joined the others swiftly into the van. Alex began to walk towards us, completely wasted with a glassy look in his eyes; it was bloody adorable. He signed my CD and agreed to a photo. He then signed across the line and allowed me to take a few extra random shots along the way (I am still quite confused that I was the only person out of 20 waiting who had bothered to bring a camera). Just as he was leaving, he walked back over to me, looked at my Girls Aloud t-shirt and said: "That's a crackin' t-shirt my friend!" He then followed it with a wink, smiled, and then turned back around, waving goodbye to the crowd as he walked over to the van.
And that is how My favourite worst nightmare turned into the greatest night of my life.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007 It's 2 bloody AM and I have work in the morning...
...however, I still felt I should quickly pop on here before going to bed. A small post to notify you all I have just walked in the door from tonights Arctic Monkeys gig in Melbourne. There's a lot to tell; the night was a bit of a disaster (nothing to do with the Monkeys, everything to do with the crowd) but I'll fill you in on why sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, here's a photo which marks the very point my night totally turned itself around. Click for a bigger shot 'aight.
Wait till you hear what he had to say about my Girls Aloud t-shirt!
UPDATE: Am really fucking ill, so don't expect a proper report till the weekend. I put it down to the hours spent outside in the freezing cold waiting for Alex to make an outdoor appearance. Was the mother of all flu's worth it? Fucking oath.
* Had an exam this week for Uni which will explain why I've been absent since last week.
* Still, I'm sure it's been an absolute thrill to load this page and still see a collection of Ron Weasley photography.
* Speaking of Ron, how's about that Potter book leaking? I'll admit, I totally looked it up and sought out the spoilers. I haven't read any of the books and simply couldn't wait till 2010 to find out what happens, so yes, I cheated. But there are so many people who don't want to cheat and may feel the burn of cruelty this Saturday when they pick up their copy of "Deathly Hollows." Turns out there is a group of nasty people who've printed up pamphlets to give out to children in line at random bookstore launches, containing all the important spoilers disguised as a pamphlet of guidelines before purchasing the book. Fucking ridiculous.
* I was lucky enough to receive the long awaited Midnight Juggernauts album in the mail today, which is released through Inertia next month. Will review it sometime this week.
* Frustratingly, I am still waiting for news on the Van She album. Popjustice have made small mention of the boys once again thanks to their remix of Feist's "1234," which is good, but has nothing on any of the original stuff they churn out.
* I'm going to the Arctic Monkeys Melbourne gig on August 7th much to my excitement. Unfortunately I am going alone, so if anyone is keen on tagging along, email me. You'll have to source out your ticket on ebay though (there's heaps of them on there, ps), I don't have a spare.
* Victoria Beckham's TV special was fun, regardless of what 98% of the television viewing public would have you believe.
* Sorry for the half-arsed post. I'll try and concoct something a little more adequate later on today.
"Favourite Worst Nightmare" really is - for me - the first great album of 2007. There have been some truly outstanding albums this year so far (Patrick Wolf, Tracey Thorn, Bjork, Tori Amos, just to name a couple), but none have ignited such fireballs of passion as this. I wasn't at all fussed by the Arctic Monkeys' first album, "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not", so I really wasn't expecting to take any sort of shining to the follow up, even though I was slightly impressed with the "Who The Fuck Are Arctic Monkeys" E.P. from last year. But upon hearing the first single, "Brianstorm", lifted from this new album, I immediately began taking an interest. I've always thought Alex Turner and Jamie Cook (pictured, left) from the band were incredibly good looking (it's my thing alright, those kind of bratty Britty-boys, leave me alone), but the sounds just hadn't been good enough in the past for me to pay any attention toward their musical instruments rather than just their faces. Then this bloody album came along and turned everything upside down.
"Brianstorm" is such a menacing rock affair that it's hard NOT to enjoy it. Turner's voice sounds so deliciously evil throughout, and there's something really exciting about the "t-shirt and tie combination" lyric, which probably has something to do with me SHOUTING IT in the car every morning on my way to work. And THAT breakdown - something I soon figured out was a Monkey trademark - totally overwhelming. "Teddy Picker", which I felt has a certain rockabilly element to it, talks about someone "gagging for it"... that was my most used phrase of 2005. I totally love the fact it's made a revival of sorts in music. "D Is For Dangerous" is just fucking great, but not as spectacular as "Balaclava", an asbolute stand-out moment on this record. A hyperactive, balls out, high-tension, pure rock song that sounds almost as if it was recorded with its live performance in mind. Total Arena material.
Is "Fluorescent Adolescent" going to be a single? It should be, another absolute masterpiece, and Turner's little-boy-lost approach to the lyrics ALMOST makes this his cutest moment on record, a title that - however - belongs to "The Bad Thing", a slightly more uptempo tune which takes you to new levels of adoration with the lyric "really love is fiiiiiiine!". "Only One Who Knows" is a drumless strummy-guitar ballad of sorts that accentuates a slow cracking in Alex's voice... absolutely gorgeous. "Do Me A Favour" is easily the first of my three stellar favourite moments on here though. It's the bearer of one MASSIVE build up that just adds to itself with each verse. Totally insane and probably the most 'pop' moment on here. Apparently this is about Turner's break up with Victoria McDowell... "Do me a favour/and break my nose/...and stop asking questions/...she walked away/her eyes were all red/you could see that we'd cried". Just lovely lyrics, but not as good as the "perhaps fuck off might be too kind" line though. "This House Is A Circus" is the second acer than ace track on here, a real messy, fun and over-excited pop/rock assault that does a very good job of summing up WHY these guys are so bloody good in just a mere 3 minutes and 14 seconds. "Old Yellow Bricks" has this totally amazing violin-bit through it which blends incredibly well with the harsh guitars and slight shouting, and "If You Were There, Beware" is so ridiculously offtap it's hard not to completely appreciate it. The albums closer, "505", is the third of the three mind-blowing ditties on this long player. Starting itself off at a splendidly slow rate, it's the massive build-up that takes this up about ten notches from being a mellow love song into a complete state of bonkers Indie-pop heaven. Beautiful beyond belief.
No one is more surprised at this recent Monkey-turn-of-events to my ears than I. But I am so impressed with this album that I've started giving their first one another chance... I'm pleased to say it's REALLY growing on me. I know a lot of the readers wont agree with my new found love of the boys, but I'm sure everyone can relate to the absolute joy you feel when you experience a really rewarding surprise in music... it's all been such a great thing, discovering their new choons and rediscovering their older stuff.
Cannot wait to see them play at Splendour In The Grass over the first weekend in August down Byron Bay way, either... Yep, my good friends Ben, Verity & I will be forking out hundreds of dollars to not only secure tickets for the festival, but pay for accomodation AND get flights up there as well, and the main incentive for me has been to see the Monkeys perform. It's going to be one expensive music festival but by GOD have you seen the line up?! Alongside the Monkeys, Hot Chip, Klaxons, Kaiser Chiefs, Bloc Party, Lily Allen, Sarah Blasko, The Shins, Josh Pyke... You should come along! More details here.
BONUS YOUTUBE VIDEO: One of the MANY reasons I love Alex Turner... He's just so adorable... "Sarah & Nicola, Girls Aloud!"
Wednesday, April 25, 2007 The Album of 2007 thus far...
...is a record of songs by the Arctic Monkeys. You know, their new one "Favourite Worst Nightmare"? Yep, that's the one.
I have a feeling a lot of people aren't going to agree with me at all on this, and there is actually one particular person I am certain will be emailing me the minute he reads this post, fearing the absolute worst for the wellbeing of my ears. Anyway, this album's brilliance is something I'll be talking about tomorrow. But until then, I'll just leave you with the thought that me, Adem, who completely disliked their first album, is now going to fork out a few hundred dollars in August to see them playing several thousand kilometers away from home at the Splendour In The Grass Music Festival. Almost solely for them.
