The following five million paragraphs will be what I claim as my IAR review of the Big Day Out. I've broken it up into parts, so if you really cannot be arsed reading about my battle with heatstroke, you don't have to. As a whole, the review is a "bit" long and quite shambolic, so don't say I'd not warned you.
That's the best photo I took all afternoon/evening at Sunday gone's Big Day Out Music Festival in Melbourne. If you think you can spot that mug from a mile away, and have guessed it as belonging to Lily Allen (left!), pat yourself on the back and treat yourself to a piece of flavoured gum, for you deserve it!
You'll have to forgive me. I'm still recovering from what could only be explained as the most retarded case of Heatstroke I've seen. Did you know that having Heatstroke can temporarily impair your vision? I wasn't aware of this yesterday morning whilst I was trying to work in my 9 to 5 job. The 9 to 5 job which I arrived an hour late for, mind, and left an hour later from. How did this happen? Allow me to explain...
DEATH BY HEATSTROKE For those of you unaware of what the Big Day Out is, it's a festival each year held across Australia on different dates, where International and Aussie acts join forces over several-many stages to perform all on the one, hot, skin-burning day. Melbourne's Big Day Out has/had a gorgeous history with the Royal Melbourne Showgrounds. Two years ago, those showgrounds were "renovated" for sporting events, and are now so completely fucked up in build that there is just no possible way a Big Day Out could be held there ever again. So two years in a row we've had the "luxury" of it being held at Princes Park. Understandably, last years BDO was the first at the new venue, so baby steps were expected when it came to things like, oh, for example, shaded areas. And by baby steps, I mean none at all. The one thing the Melbourne Showgrounds provided punters with was ample amounts of shade all across the grounds. At Princes Park in 2006, this was a BIG problem. People left the showground bright red, no matter how much sunscreen lotion they'd applied. I remember reading late last year that the organisers of the festival were aware this had been a problem in 2006, and were going to make sure there was an extensive amount of shaded areas available for 2007. Surprise, surprise, there weren't. So being out in the sun, having a wine cooler - or ten, consuming bottles of water (but obviously still not enough of them), and applying sunscreen lotion every 3 hours... and I still managed to burn most of my face and neck off, and was blessed with the joys of blurry vision for 8 hours yesterday afternoon, on top of a migraine. My god. I'm getting old.
So was it all worth it?
CLAUSTROPHOBIA HELL WITH LILY ALLEN Attempting to find a half decent place up the front for Lily's set was an absolute fucking nightmare. People were pushing, screaming, threatening to punch on (I swear to god) with me - and this was just walking IN to the Boiler Room, in which Lily had been placed to perform. My friend Sera & I were disappointed to have not been right up the front, for we felt had we been, Lily would have seen our "crafty" home-made t-shirts and appreciated them very much indeed.
Whilst Sera may look like a supermodel in this shot, I have a horrible expression on my face which looks as though I'm passing a shit. Fantastic.
Lily sung a few numbers, including "Friday Night", "Nan You're A Window Shopper" (which about only 3 of us few thousand people in the boiler room actually knew was one of her songs), "LDN", "Everything's Just Wonderful", "Alfie", "Not Big", "Knock 'Em Out", & "Not Big", among others. Lily called George W Bush a "cunt", called the photographer's taking happy-snaps of her "cunts", and called another security guard an "ugly cunt". She smoked ciggie after ciggie, and even jigged about here and there. The set (which lasted 45 minutes) was pretty unbelievable, especially the tear-the-house-down performance of "Littlest Things", which would have silenced the critics claiming Lily cannot carry a tune. Once "Smile" began, however, things began to turn ugly. Hundreds of people were trying to push their way through, trying to knock out those of us who'd been quite close to the front from the beginning of Lil's set. It turned nightmarish, with people falling over, the girl next to me trying to run out because she couldn't breathe and felt an asthma attack coming on, and then there was little 'ol me with my intense case of Claustrophobia. Do you remember Kill Bill 2, the scene where Uma Thurman alive? I had to excuse myself from the movie theatre when I saw that so I could go and violently throw up. I don't so cope very well in these audience-crushing situations either. I don't throw up on people (boy, THAT would have been pretty funny though), but it does all get a bit much. I eventually moved as much as I could toward the exit and stood much 's buriedfurther away to catch the last 5 minutes of Lily's set. She was pretty brill, commented on how crap the Sydney crowd were (YEAH!), and threw up the two-fingers when someone hurled a bottle onto the stage. Amongst the crowd crushes and bitch fights, I managed to get a few happy snaps on my ageing digital camera.
Not exactly Herb Ritts, but it'll do.
SUNSHINE WITH A SNEAKY SOUND SYSTEM This is most probably where the sun damage occurred. If that's the case, then it was all very much worth it. Aussie dance outfit Sneaky Sound System were - by far - the BEST act I saw all day at the Big Day Out. Miss Connie is an absolute STAR, ridiculously gorgeous and full of superb robot-esque dance moves. MC Double D - the bands resident rapper/front man - is also a joy to watch. Cheeky, extremely talented and quite easy indeed on the eyes he is indeed. Throw in the brilliance found within their debut self titled album (currently in my top 2 for the year) all up on stage, and you've pretty much got the electricity and chemistry one needs to enjoy themselves no matter how scorching the sun. I danced my ARSE off, especially to hit singles "Pictures" and "I Love It", and took about 60 photos of Miss Connie just generally being fabulous on stage. The first picture below is significantly special in greatness compared to the others though, for the gorgeous Miss Connie is looking RIGHT AT MY HAPPY-SNAP-MAKER. !!!!
AMAZING.
Here is MC Double D, showing off a lovely hat and hints of an even lovelier snail trail.
Sexy vocalists, brilliant dance records and superb entertainers. It's almost as if Sneaky Sound System are the Rogue Traders of 2007, isn't it?
THE BRILLIANCE DID NOT CEASE THERE. You must all immediately take note of Miss Connie's STELLAR SET OF HIGH HEELED SHOES.
There are truly no words, are there?
BRIEF ENCOUNTERS My Chemical Romance were mind blowing, in particular when "Welcome To The Black Parade" began to blast its way through the grounds of Princes Park, whilst Peaches ripped everyone a brand new arsehole for her set in the Boiler room, removing a good 9 pairs of her underwear and donning sexy hot-pink shin pads. The Killers were more than likely great, but I was more interested in sitting in the shade than watching all of their set, so I only caught a song and a half. Muse, on the other hand, I saw pretty much all of and - as predicted - were stunning. The atmosphere was amazing through out their entire set as thousands of people cheered and sung along to every single line performed of each track. And all as the sun was going down. Very special indeed. Overall, the day was quite nice, but I was very much over it by 8:30pm. Hell, I was over it by 4pm, but there were too many acts left to see at that time that I just couldn't have left. Next year I'll be taking my own Shelter Shed, complete with a mini-bar fridge stocked with ice cold bottles of water, and a big fuck off air conditioner.
I took some more photos, such as crappy snaps of the screen whilst Muse were playing, a few more of Lily, a tonne more of Sneaky Sound System and even several of the Hotel Room several of my friends & I stayed in after the event, so if you'd like to see those, feel free to email me. And if anyone has any photographic proof that Lavina Williams, ex-Idol contestant and sister of Young Beaver Emily, was at the BDO in Melbourne, please email those through as well.
I should also mention that I managed to "spot" a couple of those crazy Pussycunt Moles AT THE BIG DAY OUT!!
Look at 'em go! The second from the left is most definitely Carmit, whilst the other two are probably Melody and One of the other ones. What troopers! How all so very sad there was no room for them on one of the main stages, a decission which saw them slum it out on the events smallest stage.
Loosen up my buttons indeed.
I cannot end this "review" without slamming the price of beverages at the event. $4.50 for a bottle of Soft Drink is fucking ridiculous. We're all just going to have to take out personal bank loans to be able to purchase a drink next year when it goes up in price, for I'm sure it was slightly cheaper last year.
Happy Australia Day to all! Let us all look at a photograph of Australia's The Blakeney Twinsand chant "Oi Oi Oi!". Excellent.
Whatever you've spent your day doing, I hope it's been filled with cheer. I've had quite an exciting few hours on this terrifically sunny Public Holiday, and am about to have a 'cat nap' before assaulting my weekend ahead with full steam.
First of all, tonight marks my very last EVER radio show (called Professional Distortion) on 94.7 The Pulse. I'm packing it all in, waving goodbye and riding into the sunset from The Pulse forever, after 3 years of loyalty and dedication. I've pretty much had enough of the 'goings on' inside the station, and instead of continuously arguing my point to a bunch of old pterdactyl's who've no idea how to run a radio station, I've decided to just walk away with my head held high(ish). Tonight's show is going to be a celebration of, well, me. I'll be playing some of my favourite songs, by artists such as Jeff Mills, Yoko Ono, The Divinyls, Kate Bush, ABBA, Girls Aloud, Madonna, USURA, The Cars, Jimmy Soul, Gina G "HB", Billie Piper, Kristine W, Dannii & Kylie, Pet Shop Boys, Pat Benatar, Take That, Ruslana and maybe even some Rollo. There's plenty more, and that's because my final on-air hurrah has been extended from the usual 2 hours to 4.5. So if you're in or around the Geelong/Melbourne CBD area, tune into 94.7 The Pulse from Midnight tonight for what's set to be 270 Minutes of absolute chaos, as I'm joined by various members of Melbourne's Clubbing Fraternity for a shambolic, grand finale evening of radio.
Then on Sunday I'm off to the Big Day Out Music Festival for "work" purposes, to see the likes of Lily Allen, The Killers, Muse, The Gingers, Peaches, My Chemical Romance, The Presets & Hot Chip, amongst others. It's going to be one helluva (DRUNK) day, so don't expect any updates till about Wednesday. Full review some time next week.
Thursday, January 25, 2007 More Madonna Album Rumours
Now HERE'S a more exciting rumour floating about. There seems to be quite a "firm belief" that Madonna's asked old pal Lenny Kravitz to help her out with the upcoming album. A rumour which makes a lot more sense than her working with Pharrel, Snoop Dogg (!!) or Andre 3000. This new rumour excites me to no end.
You may remember Mr. Kravitz put pen-to-paper for Madge on 1990's "Justify My Love", a very good single indeed. Throw that together with Madonna's recent admiration for guitar playing (something I've been VERY happy about), well, it's a lot better than lies of the Queen making a hip-hop album, is it not? The mere thought of her going a bit rock and roll on the next LP has left me begging for news that this is the case. It's all just rumour for now, but wouldn't it be nice to see as a reality?
As a slightly full-0n Madonna fan, I can honestly say that there is nothing more exciting than seeing that woman strumming the fuck out of an electric guitar. Bring. It.
This is the brand new video clip for Stephanie McIntosh's upcoming third single, "So Do I Say Sorry First".
As you can see, Stephanie seems to be slightly more serious about this whole pop star thing these days. Not only is she wearing a nice, tight fitted, short & stripey dress, she is also sporting some VERY NICE INDEED high heel shoes AND VERY LARGE SUNGLASSES. This is all quite a brilliant thing.
Then there's the whole issue of her actually releasing the best song from her debut album, "Tightrope". This is all a VERY clear indication that Steph "means business". Let's just hope she's bothered to get some vocal training after her slight mishap - the "slight mishap" being that her voice was pretty much non existent - on The Footy Show Grand Finale last year. Especially with the news that she's given Neighbours the flick to concentrate on her music career. Maybe 2007 will be the year she also gives the flick to her vicious, homophobic boyfriend Nick Rewoldt?
Thursday, January 18, 2007 Australian Princess Season 2
"But which one's the pig?"
If you - like a few who've email through the past week or so - are wondering why I've not spoken of the second series of Australian Princess on this website, it is due simply to the fact that I'm 'speaking' about the show over on my other website, Trang Pak's Burn Book, which was set up a few weeks before the new season began late last year.
By heading over there, you can read all about each episode of the season in great detail, and seeing as NEXT WEEK is the season finale, there truly is NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT to catch up on your favourite(ish) program. So, all in all, it's pretty much exactly the same as last year, just on a different website.
"I liked his old stuff better than his new stuff, to be honest."
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 R.I.P: Darlene "Sally Spectra" Conley
Darlene Conley, the delightful woman who played Sally Spectra on US Soap Bold & The Beautiful, passed away today due to a battle with stomach cancer, an illness she was diagnosed with only three months ago.
I watched *A LOT* of Bold in my time. I stopped tuning in about a year ago because I'd outgrown it (quite overdue, mind), but my favourite person to watch every week was Darlene, parading about and pouting her lips in the role of Sally Spectra. She was endearing to watch, and always hilarious. She was the original Ginger Spice and - unlike the real one - was not afraid of having a bit of food every so often. She also had a role in the legendary trash-fest movie The Valley Of The Dolls.
I'm genuinely upset, I loved this woman. My thoughts are with Darlene's family and friends during this upsetting time.
This years "exciting" Brit Award nominations have been announced. To say that the entire nation of the United Kingdom shall be fast asleep shortly after it begins is an absolute understatement. Forget Valium, Xanex, Codeine or GHB, if you're one to have fly-by fits of insomnia through the year, just do as I am and get a friend in the UK to tape this years Brit Awards for you. That way, whenever you are unable to sleep, just pop your trusty recording of the 2007 Brit Awards into a "VCR" (!!!!!), and away to the land of dreams you go.
Not surprisingly, Girls Aloud (pictured, right) and the Sugababes have been snubbed. Maybe Girls Aloud can do what they did last year while Brits were on - Come to Australia? And quite surprisingly, McFly have been snubbed as well, an act I was sure were Brit Award darlings up until now. Have a look at the absolute wank found within these nominations and - hey, why not - let's have a chat about each of them.
British Male Solo Artist James Morrison Jarvis Cocker Lemar Paolo Nutini Thom Yorke
If Jarvis Cocker doesn't win this I'll be very cross. You would expect to have seen Robbie on there, but apparently - according to the Senior Citizens down at the Brits - "Intensive Care" is an album more worthy of listens than "Rudebox". Even though it is actually his all time worst.
British Female Solo Artist Amy Winehouse Corinne Bailey Rae Jamelia Lily Allen Nerina Pallot
Well, this is slightly better. If I were choosing the winners, Amy Winehouse would collect this gong, but it'll either go to Lily Allen or Corinne Boring Rae. I'm not quite sure why Jamelia's been acknowledged - yes, the album and singles have been great but haven't 3 people in total bought them? Well if we're doing that, why is there no nomination for Emma Bunton then?
British Group Arctic Monkeys Kasabian Muse Razorlight Snow Patrol
Muse are the only act on there with an actual pop album this year. And they're not even a pop act. No Girls Aloud, no Sugababes, no McFly. How so very sad.
MasterCard British Album Amy Winehouse - Back To Black Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not Lily Allen - Alright, Still Muse - Black Holes & Revelations Snow Patrol - Eyes Open
Not bad, if not slightly predictable. Where is a nomination for Take That's "Beautiful World" though? Hasn't that been Number #1 in the UK now for 37 years?
British Single Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On The Feeling - Fill My Little World James Morrison - You Give Me Something The Kooks - She Moves In Her Own Way Leona Lewis - A Moment Like This Lily Allen - Smile Razorlight - America Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair) Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars Take That - Patience Will Young - All Time Love
Oh you're kidding me, right? Sandi 'Fucking' Thom? Leona Lewis? No Girls Aloud then? Again? I am really hoping Take That snatch this award - something tells me they probably will. But something told me Girls Aloud may have received an actual nomination this year as well, so what would I know?
British Breakthrough Act Corinne Bailey Rae The Fratellis James Morrison The Kooks Lily Allen
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hopefully Lily will get this one and be disgustingly drunk/gakked when she accepts it.
British Live Act George Michael Guillemots Kasabian Muse Robbie Williams
I suppose that is a generally okay list. But they've managed to leave at least another 3 off there, haven't they?
International Male Solo Artist Beck Bob Dylan Damien Rice Jack Johnson Justin Timberlake
Beck should win this, but Justin probably will.
International Female Solo Artist Beyonce Cat Power Christina Aguilera Nelly Furtado Pink
If Beyonce nabs this award I'll be furious. The only good things she's put her name to since "Crazy In Love" have been "Dreamgirls" and the press release announcing Destiny's Child were to be no more.
International Group The Flaming Lips Gnarls Barkley The Killers Red Hot Chili Peppers Scissor Sisters
I really don't want to see Gnarls Barkley win this one. Their album wasn't that bad, but it had some very patchy moments on it. My hopes are on The Flaming Lips & The Killers, but my money is probably on the Scissor Sisters.
International Album Bob Dylan - Modern Times Gnarls Barkley - St Elsewhere Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds The Killers - Sam's Town Scissor Sisters - Ta-Dah
Scissor Sisters do NOT deserve an award for THAT album, surely?
International Breakthrough Act Gnarls Barkley Orson The Raconteurs Ray LaMontagne Wolfmother
Dear Wolfmother. Please fuck off. xx IAR. Believe me when I say that a lot of us are VERY ashamed they are from Australia.
Outstanding Contribution To Music Oasis
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
My question to the folks who put these lists of nominees together each year is: Do the viewers at home receive an award for putting up with an evening of suicidal television? What a painful, painful evening this is panning out to be.
Not as painful as our "beloved" ARIA Awards* though. *The ARIA Awards are Australia's answer to the Brits. But even shitter. Not only do people selling three records get nominated, but they also win. Hello Clare Bowditch.
While I've been spending the early stages of this week in a sleepless, zombie-like frazzle, other members of the Blogerati have been quite productive. Let's take a look at the goings on around the world wide web...
The Hotstuff Files are - like myself - in quite the state to see that Simon Webbe (ex Blue member) is no longer sporting his trademark hat. The end is indeed nigh.
XO & his Middle Eight are currently listening to the delightful sounds of Lucky Soul, who I'd not heard of until this post. Grace Jones (pictured, left), the pop star with the sharpest shoulder-pads in music history, is apparently quite the fan of them as well.
If you're like me and don't actually live in the UK, you might be incredibly curious to find out what's going on in the UK Celebrity Big Brother House, staring Jermaine Jackson (!!!), Jo O'ChinO'Meara and H "The Gay" from Steps. Luckily for us, the amazing Talent In A Previous Life are providing the world with day to day recaps, proving to be much more entertaining than Jo O'Meara's solo album.
Paul at The Zapping not only has a sexy new look for his blog, but has also managed to squeeze in appreciation of Deborah Gibson's AH-MAH-ZHING 2001 single "M.Y.O.B", which, long-time readers may remember, was featured on the now (temporarily?) defunct 1001 Greatest Pop Songs website mid last year.
Speaking of Deborah, ace new Magablog A Kind Of Love In has also managed to feature the lovely Ms. Gibson. Pinkie - the lovely man who runs the site - discusses his loin-approval for Eric Mabius, the rather gorgeous-as-fuck boss of Betty, seen on the splendid TV show Ugly Betty. You may remember him as the sexy-as-sin Dean Jack Hess from the OC last year, or as the boy bumming Joshua Jackson in the movie Cruel Intentions.
#1 Hits From Another Planet is featuring some delightfully good electro-pop courtesy of Emmon, in the form of an mp3. There's also a lovely Lady-themed EP available for download too.
RobPop & Mark over at Don't Stop The Pop have announced their Top 10 songs of 2006, with a rightful placing of Silvia Night's "Congratulations" at Number #2.
Chart Rigger adds some interesting detail to the whole Robbie Williams vs Ashley Hamilton (he-of-former-Shannen-Doherty-nuptial-fame) debacle over who actually wrote Williams' "She's Madonna". Robbie seems to be spending more time in court these days than Eminem did several years back.
Anthony Callea has done one of those "what's on your iPod" lists for iTunes, and the fabulous Poster Girl has analyzed every single one of the tracks on said list. Callea likes X-Tina, The Pussycunt Moles, Nick Lachey and - quite sadly - Augie March, who I explained had been responsible for "supplying many Australian's with reasons to off themselves since their first EP release in 1998" in Stylus Magazine last year.
Split Chick over at Tip Top Pop has a Live-mania Kylie Minogue megapost up at the moment, with downloadable audio moments from some of Kylie's biggest tours, including her take on Madge's "Vogue" on the recent leg of her Showgirl Tour.
Jess has updated Ausculture and has bid farewell to the amazing Will from Fop, who's moving to the UK forever, leaving all of his VERY SAD AUSTRALIAN FRIENDS BEHIND. We'll miss you oh-so-much Will, thanks for being so very special to all. xo
Over at Karinski.net, there's some serious loving headed toward Mark Ronson, Ms. E. Bextor, and the use of the word "Emop". Brilliance all round.
The superb Popalastic has news on Australia's latest "apparent" new Pop Princess. Her name is Suzy Ray, her first single is called "Disco In My Car", there is speculation that she may enjoy sex with her siblings and cows, and she is without a MySpace page. This is never a good thing folks ("Which bit?!!" - You). A band by the name of Clay Pigeon that I was banging on about last year suddenly broke up after recording their first demo CD, and they too were WITHOUT A MYSPACE PAGE. The curse of MySpace is an evil thing, and if Suzy Ray wants anyone to buy her incredibly shithouse-but-listenable single, she'd better get out of the depression and hop to joining the rest of the world in the year 2007 by 'getting to it'.
Popjustice.com are raving about Calvin Harris, and (once again) they're quite right in doing so. Calvin recently turned the average All Saints single "Rock Steady" into an absolute dancefloor stomper. What a pity not even God himself could turn the rest of their album into anything remotely worth listening to.
The always controversial and quite fantastic Kirkland Ciccone has launched a new website, which has some quite dazzling moments to be found within.
Finally, if you're after Australian Princess Updates, you might wanna head over to my other website, the slightly more Australian-TV-Culture-tinged Trang Pak's Burn Book.
Friday, January 12, 2007 On the 12th day of 2007...
Only 12 days into the year and, not surprisingly, there are already 10 songs being released in 2007 that are twiddling all the right audio buttons. I thought it would be nice to share them with you, so I've charted these tracks - from Number #1 to #10. Here's what the music of 2007 looks like from my point of view thus far...
#01 | go:audio - Made Up Stories Everyone's predicting big things for these boys, and with very good reason.
#02 | Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Catch You What's NOT to like about this, really?
#03 | Patrick Wolf (pictured, left) - The Magic Position Very special indeed.
#04 | Take That - Shine Mark Owen takes the lead on the next TT single. Very Scissor Sisters, but without the annoying falsetto.
#05 | Tracey Thorn - It's All True Remixes of this already being hammered on Melbourne dance radio station Kiss FM.
#06 | Kylie Minogue - White Diamond (Live @ Showgirl Homecoming Tour) No word on whether we'll be getting a studio version of this. Radio's also been sent an edit of the live version to promote the release of the Live album.
#07 | go:audio - Woodchuck Debut album expected to see a release around Autumn this year.
#08 | Dragonette - True Believer Popjustice approved electro-pop. Not surprisingly, their other stuff is just as good.
#09 | Patrick Wolf ft. Marianne Faithfull - Magpie Absolutely stunning.
#10 | Dannii Minogue - I Can't Sleep At Night (Afterlife Remix) In a strange turn of events, Dannii's label AATW have released a bunch of remixes to this track, making them available for download from their online store. This - a more relaxed and chilled version (the same one she performed on a few morning shows here in Oz last year) - adds some real beauty to this otherwise pop stomper.
No doubt, this time next month things will look very different. And I'd have it no other way!
According to madonnalicious.com, Stuart Price (pictured, right, with God) - during an interview with NME.COM - announced details of the upcoming Madonna album. The album will have a "new sound", and both Madge & Stuart have been working with "top producers that are very in fashion right now".
He also added the album will be released this year.
Datarock? Vitalic? What kind of sound do you think she'll go for? I'm guessing a dancey-electro-rock, which would sit perfectly with producers like Datarock & Vitalic.
Should be a bloody good year by the sounds of things... Hrmmm. Several other websites have reported similar stories, except from different sources. One site has claimed Stuart made the announcement on E! Television, whilst another says he made the announcement in the Daily Telegraph. Of course, none of the supposed sources have any online links, so something tells me it's all bullshit.
There's also the new report that Madge is working with PharrellWilliams (who does not deserve the bolding of his name thank you very much), which repulses me beyond belief. Something tells me this isn't true either, but god help us all if it is, I'm not sure even Madonna could make anything Pharrell touches worth listening to. They're also claiming Stuart will not be the main producer, which I think is also complete bullshit. She'd be absolutely bonkers not to use him heavily on the next album again, and I really don't think she's silly enough not to.
In the lead up to the "Confessions" album, you may remember news leaks "from Warner", claiming the album was to be called "Defying Gravity" and would be rock influenced. Then we got a record called "Confessions On A Dancefloor" that was all club stuff. What this all looks like is either a clever set of lies leaked by people with a bit of time on their hands at the Madonna Camp, or - and this is more than likely the case - fans who've nothing better to do than stir up shit on various forums.
Liz Rosenberg... can we have some kind of confirmation that Madonna wouldn't work with Williams in a million years? Has she not heard the "new" Gwen Stefani album, or, you know, anything Pharrell has done in the last 4 years? The thought of hip-hop Madonna sounds desperate, lame, and certainly not worth any kind of wait what so ever. Ugh.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 TTA DAY 1: Bedtime Story
Watch as I bare my soul! Take That appreciation week heads into full swing at IAR right about now. Ladies & Gentlemen... let me tell you a little story...
Once upon a time, in a small Country Town located in Gippsland, Australia, a young boy named Adem (that would be me, viewers) lived. He was quite young (about 10 years of age) and in Grade 4 at Primary School. At this school, people were not very aware of music that was good. In fact, most of the children listened to Country Music or Classic Rock & Roll because that was all their parents ever played around them. It was a very small country town that worshipped horses and cows over pop stars. There were two young sisters though, one who was 9 and the other 11 who, funnily enough, lived in Adem's street. They all became friends due to sharing an intense passion for a thing called pop music. They would meet at weekends and exchange pin ups from Smash Hits, TV Hits & Star! Magazine's, songword files, stickers, the lot. They'd also purchase the latest hit singles and albums on cassette (!!!) with their pocket money each week, lending the purchased goods to the other so they could "tape" a copy for themselves. Considering there were only 2 radio stations in the whole area - musically - life was surprisingly great.
One day, Adem purchased a pop compilation of songs on cassette titled "Hit Machine". It was the first in a series of pop compilations that would continue on for about 78 volumes in years to come. On this cassette was a song called "Could It Be Magic", by a boy band called Take That. It was very good, and became Adem's favourite track for the year of 1992. The two sisters down the street loved it too, and taped a copy of the song for their own listening pleasure. Adem would dance around in his room to the song, singing into a hair brush pretending he was one of the boys from Take That. His mother would always catch him jumping up and down on his bed singing very loud. In 1993, Adem was lucky enough to receive Take That's "Take That & Party" album on cassette for his birthday, a gift from his Aunty & Uncle. He would spend hours in his room listening to the tape, learning all the words and dancing to the songs. Any free time that came up, was time to listen to his cassette. For a good two months, Adem did not listen to a single Madonna or Kylie Minogue cassette. Not even his Teen Queens, Toni Pearen or Melissa Tkautz tapes!!
At the start of 1994, Adem moved back to his hometown of Geelong which - in comparison to where he had lived in Gippsland - was like New York City. For his birthday that year, the same Aunty & Uncle who'd purchased his very first Take That album the previous year bought him another one. This was called "Everything Changes". Adem's favourite songs on this album were "Babe", "Pray", and especially a song called "Relight My Fire", which had an old lady singing on it. Miming along to the boys lines, Adem would even pretend he was the old lady, dancing around to the song after school.
As High School began in the year of 1995, Adem's obsession with Take That was just as mammoth as his passion for the pop singer Madonna. Half of his bedroom was covered in pictures of Take That, the other half with Madonna. He met a girl at his school named Sonia, who was two years older than him. She loved Take That about as much as Adem did, and they formed a very special friendship. They would spend their recess & lunchtimes talking about Take That, swapping posters and listening to Take That mix tapes on their walkmans. In April, Adem was given a CD Player for his birthday by his parents. His parents had bought him 2 CDs to play on his new CD player as well, a Madonna album he did not have called "You Can Dance", and the latest Take That single, which was called "Back For Good". Adem spent two weeks listening to "Back For Good" on repeat. The repeat function was incredibly new to Adem and he took as many opportunities to use it as he possibly could. At the simple press of a button, he could hear a song he'd just heard again... he didn't even have to press rewind and look for the song himself like on cassette. It was amazing!
One month later, Take That released their brand new album, "Nobody Else". Around this time, whilst looking at a photo of Take That member Gary Barlow (who had his shirt off), Adem felt a bit funny. He realised that he had fallen in love with Gary, but was really confused because Gary was a boy and not a girl. He told Sonia about his discovery, and they would sit quietly at school talking of their true loves, Gary Barlow & Mark Owen respectively. Later on in that year, Adem realised that he thought ALL of the boys from Take That were very pretty indeed, not just Gary. It wasn't long before Adem started thinking other boys at his school were also pretty to look at. He then decided he did not fancy thinking of kissing a girl ever again, and began focusing all his attention on boys. It was all a bit scary for Adem for a while, but he knew it really was the only way to go.
Toward the end of 1995, something terrible happened. Robbie Williams, one of the boys from Take That, announced he was leaving the band. Adem cried for days, and barely made it to school each day. He liked Robbie a lot, and was worried that now Robbie had left, the band would break up. Unfortunately, in 1996, Take That did just that. Adem absolutely lost his shit. He would not go to school, he'd just sit in his room and cry, cry, cry. He blamed Robbie for his pain, and ripped up every picture he had of him. He continued to cry and cry, until days turned into a week, and the crying started to calm itself down. Every so often, Adem would listen to the Take That song "Never Forget" and have a little sob, in memory of the best boy band in history. Shortly after the break up, Adem vowed to never let a pop group into his heart again. Not long after that, five girls formed a pop group, they were called Spice Girls, but that's another story for another time.
Robbie Williams became a very famous pop star who, eventually, was forgiven by Adem. He collected his CDs and some of his singles, as he did Gary Barlow's, who became a moderately famous pop star for several weeks in 1997. Adem's hero, Madonna, obviously liked Gary as much as Adem did, because she wrote a song especially for him that became his second Number #1 solo single. It was a lovely song called "Love Won't Wait" that Adem loved. Years later, the demo version which Madonna had sung would surface on a place called the internet. It was incredibly shit. Sometimes (but not often), that Madonna can be a silly girl!
Ten years after Robbie left the band, the year 2005. The year which saw the after-Robbie line up of Take That - now men instead of boys - announce they were going back on tour. Adem - now 10 years older as well - was very happy, even though they weren't bothering to come to Australia. He had very good reason to be happy though, because the news that followed their tour was that there was going to be a new album recorded.
In 2006, Adem bought a DVD of the boys' greatest hits. He was very angry that the video clip for their first single "Do What You Like" was not on this DVD, because it featured all five boys lying on the floor naked whilst some lady mopped jelly into their bottoms. He was pleased, however, to see the video clips for "Could It Be Magic" and "Relight My Fire", especially so he could look at the old lady again. 2006 was the same year Adem bought Take That's first album in over 10 years, called "Beautiful World". It became his 2nd favourite album of 2006, just behind former member Robbie Williams' album, which was called "Rudebox".
At the start of 2007, obsessed with their new album, Adem headed out and purchased two of the boys' most recent DVD releases in Australia. The first was a documentary, featuring all five of the boys, called "For The Record", which had been a big hit on TV in the UK when screened over there in 2005. The second was Take That's "Ultimate Tour", the very concert they had gotten back together for the previous year. The old lady that originally sung on "Relight My Fire" also appeared on this DVD and - shockingly - was no longer an old lady, but actually a 13 year old girl. Adem sat and watched his new DVDs, filled with many emotions: Joy, happiness, sadness, hysteria... he felt like an 11 or 12 year old boy again. He told everyone of his DVDs, making everyone he knew watch them with him. Many people enjoyed watching it. Some said that they didn't but secretly, Adem knew they loved it.
Whilst the love for their music stayed the same, some things had changed, other than everyone being a bit older. There were no posters of Take That on Adem's wall anymore, and he didn't dance around in his bedroom to their songs either, but he did sing them at the top of his lungs whilst driving his car to work every morning, which made him just as happy.
He did however stay very much in love with Gary Barlow, and still finds boys very nice to look at.
Thursday, January 04, 2007 Music to excite in 2007
I'm guessing everyone had a corker of a New Year, yes?! Good! Mine was a combination of special, great, interesting, frightening and hilarious all rolled into one, and I'm sure I'll fill you in on how schizophrenic it was at some point in the next week. But - as promised - I've returned on the 4th and in a move that's probably surprised me more than anyone else, it's a bit of a large return. 2007 is set to be a big on the big side of things musically speaking. So much so, I felt it was my duty to share with you all what's making my Ovaltine boil over with anticipation. Some of them you may have heard of, some of them you may not have. Hopefully, the one's you haven't heard of are set to become your new favourites for the year...
go:audio [UK]
James, Josh & Zack make up the brilliance that is go:audio, a nice little pop outfit Popjustice and the delightful Pop Poster Girl have been banging on about for quite some time now, and with very good reason too. "Made Up Stories" is the first proper great single of 2007, sounding like a mesh of everything spectacular found on the first Killers album, throwing it together with The All-American Rejects' "Paper Heart", but MUCH better, which is quite hard to imagine I know, but you'll soon see for yourself I am indeed right. There are guitars, there are bursts of melody, there are lyrics of a lover scorned. Pop Dynamite indeed. A second number called "Woodchuck" has found its way online as well and - thankfully - is also an absolute ripper, proving that they're not just going to be another flash-in-the-pan with one great song. Thank heavens for that. Their album is due to "drop" Springtime in the UK - so Autumn for us Australians, and you can listen to "Made Up Stories" by visiting their MySpace.
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VAN SHE [AUSTRALIA]
It seems that Sydney pop-rockers Van She have been recording their first album for no less than 38 years, but apparently it's all definitely happening in Oh-Seven. They've been incredibly busy playing gigs around the UK and US with a lot of fanfare, so hopefully once that's all done with they'll remember to release some new stuff. Their self titled EP from 2005 is a delicious slice of synth pop, and last years single "Kelly" will forever remain as one of Australia's finest pop moments of all time. The new material is fucking magnificent, and if you're really keen on hearing some of it before the album release, they're playing right across Australia for the Good Vibrations Festival throughout February. Listen to their ace single "Kelly", "Sex City" and "Mission" over on their MySpace.
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DUKES OF WINDSOR [AUSTRALIA]
Melbourne Electro-Indie five piece Dukes Of Windsor have a very, very good self titled album out. In a horrific turn of events, these guys aren't even signed to a label. iriver Australia seem to be backing them an awful lot though, (the iRiver logo manages to appear on everything the Dukes do) and too-cool-for-school Alternative Indie radio station Triple J seem to think they're the bees knees as well so, really, it shouldn't be too long before the lovely folk down at Modular realise their label would truly be complete with these guys on board. "The Others" rocketed in at Number 22 on my end of year chart for 2006's songs of the year and - when you listen to it - you'll understand why. Listen to "The Others" (and three of their other ditties) over at their - surprise surprise - MySpace.
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THE COPS [AUSTRALIA]
More Sydney folk, The Cops comprise of four men and a lady who, coincidently, sound a tiny bit like The Police (do you see what they've done there?). They list Stuart Price, Prince, Bobby Womack & Beck as just some of their influences, a clear indication that they're obviously a bunch of absolute legends. Last years "Call Me Anytime" (which found its way at Number 30 on my end of year chart for '06) is a little bit Blondie, a little bit The Police, and a whole lot of fun. The rest of their EP, titled "80 In The Shade", is just as exciting to listen to as "Call Me Anytime" as well, which is very exciting to know indeed. Listen to virtually their entire EP on their very brown MySpace.
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MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS [AUSTRALIA]
More Melbourne madness, the Midnight Juggernauts supported the ace Annie during her tour of Australia in the middle of last year. Personally selected by the first lady of cutesy electro-pop, their EP "Secrets Of The Universe" is a prime example as to why there are now people all the way in the UK and Europe singing their praise. "Shadows" is a proper electro-pop stomper in every sense of the word/s, and "Tombstone" is so electric, so powerful, that if it doesn't send the hairs on your neck into a standstill frenzy then you quite obviously are without a soul. All their stuff sounds A-FUCKING-MAH-ZHING in a club too, which includes their ace and ever-growing remixography as well. You can listen to their originals over at their artist MySpace page, but you can ALSO check out some of their brilliant remixes, which can be found on a separate MySpace page.
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PATRICK WOLF [UK]
The new Patrick Wolf album, "The Magic Position", is the first brilliant pop album of 2007. Title track "The Magic Position" is a superb standout, "Overture" is stunning, "Augustine" is heartbreaking yet so beautiful all the same, but the true beauty lies within Wolf's duet with Rock & Roll icon and all-round living legend Marianne Faithfull, titled "Magpie", which reduced me to a blubbering mess the first time I heard it. Looking back at Patty's previous two Long Players, it's without a doubt that "The Magic Position" is gearing up to be my favourite. The albums getting a release in February, an alarmingly long way away seeing as the whole thing's already leaked online. Props need to go out to Scott, 2 Be Certain for introducing me to Patrick Wolf in 2005, for had it not been for his recommendation I probably never would have bothered listening to any of Patrick's stuff till at least late last year. Listen to first single Accident & Emergency over on the MySpace.
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SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR [UK]
I wont go on too much about Soph, because that's what everyone else seems to be doing - but it's all with good reason. Upcoming single "Catch You" is Rachel Stevens' "Waiting Game" - the greatest B-Side from the 2000's - times a million. The second great pop single of 2007, without any shade of doubt. Watch Sophie experience sound problems, wearing a hideous-yet-she-can-get-away-with-it Gold "number", all whilst singing the new single live for some UK New Years Eve TV special over on YouTube. Nope, it's not on her MySpace yet!
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NEW LOOK IM-ALWAYS-RIGHT.COM [AUSTRALIA]
Er... exactly what it says on the tin. At some point this year (hopefully sooner rather than later), I'll be launching a new look for the site. The current one is shitting me to absolute tears. So there you go.
Here's to the New Year, eh? May it be 2007 times better than the last one was.
Not surprisingly, the Fox Network in the USA has canned The OC after rumours circulated for months that this would be the shows final season.
Some of Televisions greatest characters have come from that show: Julie Cooper-Nichol-Roberts who is played by Miranda Cooper (the second greatest woman alive on television, right after Eva Longoria), Taylor Townsend (the funniest person on the OC by far) who beats the living shit out of Meeeeeeeeescha Barton's Marissa any day of the week, Summer Roberts provided us with laughs galore from seasons 1 to 3, and Kirsten & Sandy Cohen are THE. BEST. TV. PARENTS. EVER. But pretty much every character (except for that nice-to-look-at loser from last season that killed himself) that's been and gone through this show has served a brilliant purpose in entertaining me to the fullest.
Now, it is to be no more. The finale "will deliver real closure to the series, to the story we began telling four years ago," series creator Josh Schwartz said in a statement. As long as the "real closure" is nothing like the closure found in the Six Feet Under finale, which made me so depressed that I cried for an entire weekend... I still cannot watch that episode without having to take time off work for two days after.
The Fox Network in the US will be screening the series finale on the 22nd of February and, I'm guessing, shortly after here in Australia on the Ten Network. I'm really sad! So many fabulous people that I won't get to see each week... Could someone give Miranda Cooper her own Dynasty like show after this all ends?
