Can someone please explain to me why the new Young Divas single, a cover of Loverboy's Turn Me Loose, contains some dickhead RAPPING halfway through it? THERE IS NOTHING OVERTLY HOMOSEXUAL ABOUT RAPPING UNLESS IT IS DONE BY MISSY ELLIOTT YOU STUPID SLAGS, SO WHY IS THIS BEHAVIOUR CONSIDERED ACCEPTABLE FOR YOUR OTHERWISE BRILLIANTLY CAMP NEW SINGLE?
I cannot even begin to explain how angry this has made me. Listening to the song; all was going well until that annoying man, who makes absolutely no sense with that jibber-jabber of his, pipes in with that bloody rap. Is this their way of trying to develop more street cred? THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY ADDITIONAL "FEATURING'S" ON THE NEW ALBUM UNLESS THEY ARE OF AN OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN VARIETY.
It is obvious that the blame lies with the Hillsong Church.
Here is a possible sample conversation that never happened (BUT LET'S JUST PRETEND IT DID) between the Young Divas just before the recording of Turn Me Loose:
MAGILLA GORILLAPAULINI: You know what, I reckon we should make a song that even Maya Jupiter would like!
LAVINA'S SISTER: Yeah! Let's make something kind of gay, but completely not so our families can actually listen to our music, rather than just pretend they do.
JESSICA: I r...
PAULINI: We didn't ask for your opinion Siobhan.
JESSICA: My name's not...
LAVINA'S SISTER: For god's sake Siobhan, shut up.
CAKE DEROOGE: Fuck I feel like sucking on some pussy, but I'll just have to settle for eating this lamb on the spit instead. Any of you cunts want some?
PAULINI: Sorry Cake, I don't speak in your Ballarat native tongue, I can't understand what the fuck you're saying. OH-EM-GEE, I HAVE AN IDEA! I will call the priest at our church Lavina's Sister, he'll know what to do.
*PHONE RINGS*
REV. FRED NILE: Hello Paulini!
PAULINI: Father, can you tell us what we can do to up our street cred, making us look more like a straight-persons band, but somehow still convince those dirty, sinning poofs to buy our new single?
REV. FRED NILE: You will need to employ a man of Urban variety to rap on your next single. Make sure it's still a cover and still a disco romp so those awful people who practice faggotry put their sinful money into your pockets. I don't condone you marketing your product at the Devil's Children, but at least they'll be buying your CD's instead of buying lubricant to rape children with.
PAULINI: Thanks father, you're the best!
*PHONE CLICKS*
PAULINI: We're gonna get someone to rap on the song! That will be so awesome and not at all desperate in any way, shape or form.
LAVINA'S SISTER: Woo! Girl Power! Let's just get some random guy from the train station, I'm pretty sure Levi from Idol Season 1 still chromes around Flinders Street.
PAULINI: LAWLZ, AWESOME!
CAKE DEROOGE: Oh bloody hell. My cunt's bleeding, shit guys, I reckon I got my period! Oh man, this timing SUCKS, we've got that bloody interview with Tracy Grimshaw tonight too. I was really looking forward to her...
JESSICA: Can I just...
PAULINI: Seriously Mutya, you were not employed to speak!
CAKE DEROOGE: Mutt? Where?
Can someone please edit the rap version of "Turn Me Loose" and make me an Urban-less version of it, ASAP? Kthx.
They can easily reverse my horror by recording a cover of this IMMEDIATELY...
In addition to that, as the amazing Will from Fop said several months back, they should also get onto recording this for the new album...
I am not apologising for the outburst, even though I probably should.
11:51 PM | emma said... "Oh bloody hell. My cunt's bleeding, shit guys, I reckon I got my period! Oh man, this timing SUCKS, we've got that bloody interview with Tracy Grimshaw tonight too. I was really looking forward to her..."
Oh my god. Adem.... I am in awe. That is hands down the best four sentances I have read in my life. So fucking offensive. YOU ARE A GENIUS. Tell kate I don't think tracy will mind....
