Sunday, June 17, 2007
Oz NTM: A sketchy finale round-up
|
 It's been 11 days now since Alice Burdeu (pictured, left, standing next to runner up/future Dolly cover-girl Steph H) was rightfully crowned Australia's Next Top Model. There were tears, there were tantrums. Thankfully, there was no alarming dance routine from host Jodhi Meares ala Tyra on America's Next Top Model (you all know the dance right? Very first episode of the latest 'cycle'... it has convinced me the bitch should throw away modeling and give stand-up a good stab, because I've never laughed so much at a person in my entire life than I did watching that.)
There was a lot of priceless live television madness going on though. Jodhi's incompetence as a television host sparkled brighter than Alice's outfit did. The show was all over the place, mainly thanks to Meares' contribution. Her nerves completely took over. She stumbled words, spent a good five minutes at one point trying to read the auto-cue, went completely silent in the middle of sentences, following the silences with painful laughter, et cetera. And I spent the entire two hours petrified Jodhi's colossal breasts were going to fly right out of her size-too-small strapless dress. Live television. It is definitely safe to assume that my blood pressure was sky-high by this point, I can only imagine how torturous it must have been for her. This does not excuse her behaviour though! Charlotte Dawson for sole host next year! Viva La Dawson! Down with Packer!
Ian Thorpe appeared as a special guest judge. Turns out a special "friend" - who just happens to be a raging homosexual - was his "guest" at the after party. I think it's great that Thorpey continues to cement his heterosexuality claims further into cement with such blokey moments as judging on a modeling competition.
Judge Alex Perry is an absolute treasure to watch. He's fun, he's camp and he's a proper man-bitch. Evening highlight would definitely have to be watching Alex and Jez have a live-to-air bitch fight over the merits of Alice and Steph. Fucking priceless. There's nothing better than a row on live television, especially when it looks like one of them is either going to swear, slap or both. Napoleon Perdis is still bizarre to look at. I have reached the point where I feel incredibly confused whenever I look at him. I just cannot figure out what one thing I find so... intrusive about his face, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's probably hard to pin-point just the one.
Alice may have the car and whatnot, but the real winner of the evening was Charlotte Dawson, also a judge on the show and general god-like being. For the past few months I have been OBSESSED with this woman's greatness. There is no denying Ms. Dawson is the new Gretel Killeen. She's super, super hot, and her professionalism co-hosting the finale with the stunned Jodhi made things a lot easier to handle. During moments of Meares despair, Charlotte came gliding through in her fabulous white gown, gathered herself and was not only actually able to make sense of the auto-cue, she also managed to entertain whilst doing so. TV personality in professionalism shock!
I'm sure Charlotte's performance at the finale may have something to do with the news she's getting her own Janice Dickinson style reality show over the next 12 months. Bring. That. Shit. ON.
So, really, a good night for all involved bar Jodhi and Steph H. I would have liked it if nutbag/psychotic/future serial killer/contestant Paloma had've gone ballistic about anything whilst the cameras were rolling. I hated her guts but by fuck she was fun to watch, wasn't she?
I simply cannot wait for Alice's spread in the next issue of Vogue. However, I'm not looking forward to my phone bill next month after all the votes for Alice I sent in.
 Not Charlotte Dawson, standing with the graceful Charlotte Dawson.
Labels: Television
2 Comments:
- 1:18 PM | Poster Girl said...
I know an American channel was showing some Australia's Top Model a little while ago...so who knows, maybe in a few months I'll be oooing and ahhhing over Alice as well!
__________________________________________________________________________
- 11:35 PM | Adem IAR said...
Oh that'd be great, you could finally see what I'm on about AND be able to admire Charlotte Dawson in all her glory.
__________________________________________________________________________
|
|
