Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Giving me the brits
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 This years "exciting" Brit Award nominations have been announced. To say that the entire nation of the United Kingdom shall be fast asleep shortly after it begins is an absolute understatement. Forget Valium, Xanex, Codeine or GHB, if you're one to have fly-by fits of insomnia through the year, just do as I am and get a friend in the UK to tape this years Brit Awards for you. That way, whenever you are unable to sleep, just pop your trusty recording of the 2007 Brit Awards into a "VCR" (!!!!!), and away to the land of dreams you go.
Not surprisingly, Girls Aloud (pictured, right) and the Sugababes have been snubbed. Maybe Girls Aloud can do what they did last year while Brits were on - Come to Australia? And quite surprisingly, McFly have been snubbed as well, an act I was sure were Brit Award darlings up until now. Have a look at the absolute wank found within these nominations and - hey, why not - let's have a chat about each of them.
British Male Solo Artist
James Morrison
Jarvis Cocker
Lemar
Paolo Nutini
Thom Yorke
If Jarvis Cocker doesn't win this I'll be very cross. You would expect to have seen Robbie on there, but apparently - according to the Senior Citizens down at the Brits - "Intensive Care" is an album more worthy of listens than "Rudebox". Even though it is actually his all time worst.
British Female Solo Artist
Amy Winehouse
Corinne Bailey Rae
Jamelia
Lily Allen
Nerina Pallot
Well, this is slightly better. If I were choosing the winners, Amy Winehouse would collect this gong, but it'll either go to Lily Allen or Corinne Boring Rae. I'm not quite sure why Jamelia's been acknowledged - yes, the album and singles have been great but haven't 3 people in total bought them? Well if we're doing that, why is there no nomination for Emma Bunton then?
British Group
Arctic Monkeys
Kasabian
Muse
Razorlight
Snow Patrol
Muse are the only act on there with an actual pop album this year. And they're not even a pop act. No Girls Aloud, no Sugababes, no McFly. How so very sad.
MasterCard British Album
Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Lily Allen - Alright, Still
Muse - Black Holes & Revelations
Snow Patrol - Eyes Open
Not bad, if not slightly predictable. Where is a nomination for Take That's "Beautiful World" though? Hasn't that been Number #1 in the UK now for 37 years?
British Single
Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On
The Feeling - Fill My Little World
James Morrison - You Give Me Something
The Kooks - She Moves In Her Own Way
Leona Lewis - A Moment Like This
Lily Allen - Smile
Razorlight - America
Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Take That - Patience
Will Young - All Time Love
Oh you're kidding me, right? Sandi 'Fucking' Thom? Leona Lewis? No Girls Aloud then? Again? I am really hoping Take That snatch this award - something tells me they probably will. But something told me Girls Aloud may have received an actual nomination this year as well, so what would I know?
British Breakthrough Act
Corinne Bailey Rae
The Fratellis
James Morrison
The Kooks
Lily Allen
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Hopefully Lily will get this one and be disgustingly drunk/gakked when she accepts it.
British Live Act
George Michael
Guillemots
Kasabian
Muse
Robbie Williams
I suppose that is a generally okay list. But they've managed to leave at least another 3 off there, haven't they?
International Male Solo Artist
Beck
Bob Dylan
Damien Rice
Jack Johnson
Justin Timberlake
Beck should win this, but Justin probably will.
International Female Solo Artist
Beyonce
Cat Power
Christina Aguilera
Nelly Furtado
Pink
If Beyonce nabs this award I'll be furious. The only good things she's put her name to since "Crazy In Love" have been "Dreamgirls" and the press release announcing Destiny's Child were to be no more.
International Group
The Flaming Lips
Gnarls Barkley
The Killers
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Scissor Sisters
I really don't want to see Gnarls Barkley win this one. Their album wasn't that bad, but it had some very patchy moments on it. My hopes are on The Flaming Lips & The Killers, but my money is probably on the Scissor Sisters.
International Album
Bob Dylan - Modern Times
Gnarls Barkley - St Elsewhere
Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
The Killers - Sam's Town
Scissor Sisters - Ta-Dah
Scissor Sisters do NOT deserve an award for THAT album, surely?
International Breakthrough Act
Gnarls Barkley
Orson
The Raconteurs
Ray LaMontagne
Wolfmother
Dear Wolfmother. Please fuck off. xx IAR.
Believe me when I say that a lot of us are VERY ashamed they are from Australia.
Outstanding Contribution To Music
Oasis
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
My question to the folks who put these lists of nominees together each year is: Do the viewers at home receive an award for putting up with an evening of suicidal television? What a painful, painful evening this is panning out to be.
Not as painful as our "beloved" ARIA Awards* though.
*The ARIA Awards are Australia's answer to the Brits. But even shitter. Not only do people selling three records get nominated, but they also win. Hello Clare Bowditch.Labels: Awards Ceremonies, Girls Aloud
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