Tuesday, June 27, 2006
An open letter to Madonna
|
Dear Madonna.
For the last 20 or so years of your career I have been what some would call an obsessive fan. In times of great desperation in my life, whenever I was down or feeling depressed, I knew that turning on the record player in my room and filling my ears with the sounds of your music would turn my frown upside down.
In 1993, after many years of waiting, you finally decided it was due time to bring one of your tours to Australia. Due to a sudden and unexpected death in the family, I was unable to attend the show which I had front row tickets for. As much as this depressed me to no end, I figured that now that you had brought a tour to Australia, you would not be neglecting us again.
13 years later, several "world" tours have passed and nothing. With each tour announcement comes the false hope for hundreds of thousands of Australians hoping and praying that you come. After much stuffing around, today it was finally announced that you would not be bringing your Confessions Tour to Australia, even though you promised if Japan dates were added, so would Australian ones.
You have let down all of your Australian fans. You have let down a country of people who love you, who respect you, and who would give anything to spend an evening watching you perform live in their capital city. Once again Australia proves itself somewhat insignificant to Madonna. Australia is just not worthy of a Madonna tour, are they? Bloody convicts they are!
How depressing it is. Every tour you tease us and every tour you let us down. You're a horrible person Madonna, a fucking horrible person. The years your fans of this country have spent by your side, and nothing. So what, you're going to bring it to Australia next time? Yeah right, what, because you'll be in a wheelchair by then?
So thank you VERY much Madonna. Thank you so much for sticking your middle finger up whilst you silently proclaim "Fuck you Australia!".
And do you know what Madonna? Australia says "FUCK YOU" right back.
That said, no matter what you do and how many more tours you leave Australia out of,
I'll forever be yours lovingly, but somewhat viciously depressed,
Adem Ali from IAR.
Viewers of IAR: I actually cannot explain in written form how upsetting this news is. Everything that was meant to go on the site this week has been postponed, I don't even want to be in front of my computer right now.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Whoops Now
|
 Dear "janet."
Was there really any point in losing all that weight when your new single is the pile of shit that it is?
Do you really think it was worth all that HARD WORK?
Is anyone going to actually CARE?
God. At least "All Night (Don't Stop)" had a melody of sorts.
It's a bit of a worry when a Lisa Scott-Lee single that sounded rather dated and like Janet in the 90's sounds infinitely better than a brand new single from Janet in 2006.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Coming in the next two weeks...
|
I've been incredibly slack of late, and I do apologize. So, to keep you all excited and 'on the edge of your seats', here's a list of things I'll be discussing over the next two weeks on the site.
- McFLY's amazing return to pop, and their "dazzling" performance on the big screen alongside the worlds oldest looking 20 year old.
- My review from the ANNIE live gig from a few weeks ago. Hello Fop. ;)
- My review of EUROBEAT, the greatest Musical in the world (it's based on Eurovision for all you fellow International readers)
- A play-by-play review of the new Dannii Minogue hits collection. And guess who's dear mother has agreed to join in on the review??
- My Georgie Parker Appreciation Post (she's an Aussie actress who likes to get drunk on public television often, for all you International readers).
- Something about Girls Aloud...
- ...and Madonna.
Now, SMART ARSES, please cease emailing me and asking if I'm still alive.
x IAR.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Good News Week
|
Hello.
Here are some things you should know about this fine Monday morning.
- The new McFLY video clip is quite possibly the most amazing piece of film they have ever involved themselves in. Not only is the song ridiculously ace, but they all get naked in the clip. I'll do a full report (with amazing screen caps and a link to the video) at some point this week.
- "Just My Luck" is probably the worst film of the year, but because McFLY are in it, I'm going to see it AGAIN tomorrow night. The things we do for love. They're actually not a bad bunch of actors, and Dougie's 3 lines were an absolute surprise. I seriously expected to go through the movie without hearing a single word from the boy. Bless.
- Georgie Parker's performance last night on Channel 10's "The Society Murders" was absolutely fucking outstanding. This woman is truly the nations greatest drama actress. I now strongly urge Georgie to take on as many trashy female parts as possible and pronto, there were visions last night of an Australian Tanya Turner, there really were. I'll also be discussing this monumental moment in Australian Mini-Series history at some point this week.
- And that's that.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
One Night In Paris
|
 As our dear friends over at CFBGoesPop reported the other week, our beloved Rob Mills has, quite suddenly, packed up and dashed his way out of the country due to constant questioning regarding the night he put his dick inside Paris Hilton.
This saddens me.
No it really does. I like Millsy. He's got an average to okay voice and has a little bit of star appeal. He's certainly easier to stomach than Axle Whitehead, isn't he? Let me cut to the chase, he's always (ALWAYS!) been CONSISTENTLY good looking at ALL TIMES. I have often found the levels of enjoyment very high whilst aimlessly looking through his official websites Photo Gallery. I will be the first to admit that for a good 6 months after he got booted from Australian Idol, I had 'impure' thoughts of Rob in my sleep every single night. He is very nice on the eyes and I miss him dearly, and would very much like to know how he is doing.
Thank god for blogger then, right? For it seems that the gorgeous Millsy has set up his own travel blog, aptly titled "Travelling Mills".
It has photographs of our hero drinking, performing as part of a drag act (!!!!!), posing with a drag queen, and even a lovely picture of him eating some food in a very pretty singlet top. Plus some writing which I'm sure I'll get around to reading at some point today.
You too can join me on this exciting virtua-travel with Millsy by heading over there yourself. I wonder if Paris is on his destinations list?
I await with breath that is baited for him to update again. 100% No sarcasm. I truly do.
*continues to click "REFRESH"*
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Luck Be A Lohan Tonight
|
Tonight I'm off to see Lindsay Lohan in her new movie Just My Luck. Also starring in this movie, the acest pop group with guitars at the moment, McFly. It's destined to be a bit shithouse, but the fact that I will be in Australia, watching FOUR OF THE MOST MONUMENTAL AND IMPORTANT FIGURES IN MODERN DAY POP CULTURE PARADE ABOUT IN A MOVIE ON THE BIG SCREEN is just a bit too much excitement for me to handle, so I'm not really fussed as to how "good" the actual movie ends up being.
To celebrate such a momentous occasion (!), I thought I'd whip out this "amazing" picture of a set of Dougie & Danny look-a-like's kissing for the camera.
Wouldn't you just.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Maybe I Was Wrong About You, Abby...
|
 Are you all aware that the return of the greatest reality series IN HISTORY, Australian Princess, shall be returning to our screens in a MERE MATTER OF MONTHS?!!
The excitement is all a bit too much for me, especially since the last week on Big Brother has been absolutely shit boring, but the current housemates cannot help that they are simply not Vesna, can they? (Although dear Camilla is almost there, isn't she?!)
So amongst all the anticipation for AP2, imagine my sheer delight when the following arrived in the comments section earlier today of my Australian Princess Finale Wrap-up from last year:
Hi, this is "CRabby" here. A friend of mine showed me this blog and together we pissed ourselves. Even I thought it was funny, (in between all of my crying and whining)... Gotta say that this is one of the funniest blogs I've read on the topic also! Thanks for the laugh. X Abby. P.S Nope I don't have that bloody pen anymore. God only knows where I left it!...
ISN'T THAT JUST FUCKING AMAZING?!!
Abby, you are brilliant. I never thought I would say that, but Abby, YOU ARE BRILLIANT. You have seriously made, quite possibly, my year. Not in a million years did I think you would have a sharp sense of humour, but alas, I was wrong.
For the first time ever on this site, I am indeed, Not Right At All*.
CRabby, I salute you.
xxx IAR.
ABBY CAME TO VISIT THIS SITE, BUT LAURA K DID NOT VISIT THE SITE AND I LOVED HER. MAYBE THIS SEASON I'LL TRY AND STAY AWAY FROM FALLING FOR ANY OF THE SLUTS AGAIN.
*NOT COMPLETELY TRUE (BUT STILL KIND OF TRUE), BECAUSE, I'M ALWAYS RIGHT YOU SEE. EVEN WHEN I'M OBVIOUSLY A TINY BIT WRONG. GLAD THAT'S BEEN SETTLED. PHEW.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Terrific Tuesday: #004 "Kitchens & Underwear"
|
 Girls Aloud's AMAZING single "The Show" is released in Australia this week.
The chances of it doing anything on our charts isn't looking good.
In fact, I'm going to take a very good guess at "The Show" doing nowhere near as well as "Biology" did.
And kids, do we all remember where that debuted on the ARIA charts?
#26.
It seem Universal Australia couldn't give two flying shits about this single. Seems it was not listed as a priority release, radio haven't really bothered picking it up (even though some of them began playing it when it was released in the UK in 2004), and they didn't bother changing the image of the cover to differ from the UK one (pictured).
Which, if you can't remember, is really fucking shit.
So this week, the Terrific Tuesday Single Of The Week is my "Purchase Of The Week".
Collectively, we may be able to crack the girls into the Top 50 this Sunday evening.
Find out which stores are actually bothering to stock the single, and buy yourself a copy. Or, If need be, purchase it online through the sanity.com.au online store. Sales from HMV.com.au or HMV Stores DO NOT COUNT TOWARDS THE ARIA CHARTS, so your best bet is to try a Sanity or through their online store.
PURCHASE "THE SHOW" FROM SANITY.COM.AU
And while you're there...
PURCHASE "BIOLOGY" FROM SANITY.COM.AU
PURCHASE THE "CHEMISTRY" ALBUM FROM SANITY.COM.AU
The chances of our dear girls returning later this year for some club gigs is looking less likely as the days go by, but surely we can all hold onto some hope, right?
I mean, even if we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.
=(
Please go and buy it.
PS: I've finally updated Girls Aloud In OZ, and I promise it's going to get regular updates again.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Y Kant Sazzie Spell?
|
 The Gretelgate articles from the last few days have generated some interesting emails & comments, but none more so than the one's penned by someone named Spazzie Sazzie, and her/his/its wondrous comments made earlier today on this very website.
If this is a strong indication of the type of people who read this site, I may as well shut it down now.
"yours fuken dumb man.. fuekn get a life.. if u didnt notice.. Bree actually bad mouthed Michael because of the invluence she got from fuken gretel.. Gretel is a whore hu had no respect wotsoever for Michael.. interrupting him and even trying to humiliate him on nation tv. if u didnt even fuken notice.. he had no FUKEN CHOICE of being the insider.. HE had no fuken choice of wen he can reveal he was the insider.. AND he had no FUKEN chance in explaining to the big brother housemates abt his situation.. so FUKEn get ur UFKEN facts right because i recokn many people will be pissed if that happened to them.."
I actually cannot begin to point out the hilarious irony that is saturated through out those marvelous comments.
Sazzie, you are an absolute genius, and I salute you.
I would also like to thank you for your striking ability to misspell more words in one sentence than most people do in their entire lives. It has honestly made my day.
Truly.
I will, just quickly point out however, that Michael did have a choice to either be the insider or not. He could stay, or he could leave. That is still a choice in the English speaking world which I come from, maybe not from yours.
Lots of love, hugs and kissezzzzz,
xxx IAR.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
A World Of Good
|
 I've been holding off any of my comments regarding last week's Eurovision Song Contest Finals in Greece purely because I knew that said comments were going to find themselves in the annual Stylus Magazine Eurovision Round-Up, which, unthinkably, I was asked to contribute to.
Don't let that deter you from reading it though. Some writers who are actually quite good/brilliant also put their 2 cents in, including EBM's Edward O, Dirrrty Pop's Jessica Popper, Talent In A Previous Life's Doug Robertson, along with Iain Forrester, Jonathan Bradley, and a few others.
I'm the one named Adem Ali. Funnily enough, that's because that is my name.
Anyway, here it is, with any lucky you'll enjoy some - if not all - of it.
xx IAR.
|
|
