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Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Lisa Mitchell = Cunt.

I know I said I wouldn't be talking about Idol, but after last night's disgusting display of Australia getting it all wrong once again, I feel my silence must be broken. For my dear Queen Lavinah was booted right out of the Idol 8 last night by you, the terrible Australian.

Lavina did "Best Of My Love" justice. Granted, it's not the best disco song in the world (she really should have done Amii Stewart's "Knock On Wood" - an assured touchdown), but she was lovely none the less. Certainly much better than a couple of the others. How about that foul guitar-strumming, falls-festival-going, Missy-Higgins-and-Ben-Lee-loving, Super-cool-indie jTV watcher, Lisa Mitchell, who couldn't even "talk" her way through Blondie's "Heart Of Glass" without fucking it up? You know, if Deborah Harry had seen Lisa's performance on Sunday, the girl would have been shot right in the head just in time for her to miss last nights show. Maybe it's not too late to send Debbie the footage. Lord only knows what drivel she's going to make us sit through next week with that fucking guitar of hers.

My family have been more than repulsed by Lisa's appearance on their television sets. Here are some choice quotes:

Mum IAR: "I cannot believe she's still there and Lavina is gone. I fucking hate her, she's... she's a whore."

Aunty IAR: "I can sing like that too, you know. Anyone who has the ability to - you know - TALK, can 'sing' like that too. She should be disqualified, that's not singing, that's reciting poetry."

Uncle IAR: "Hopefully someone will smack her over the head with that fucking guitar of hers next week."

My family - on occasion - can be brilliant. I can't leave you without sharing one of my friends comments as well: "Wouldn't it be hilarious if she totally screws it up next week on acoustic night? I hope she does."

How AMAZING ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

Sadly, the same cannot be said about this country. Once more Australia proves it's ridiculously tone deaf.

Just one final thing, that picture of our Queen and the delightful King Kyle together... it sparks up something, doesn' it? C'mon Sandilands, now that Tamara's apparently busy spreading her legs for Dave Navarro, you're going to need someone signed to that record company of yours...

...and I would like a single from Lavina by tomorrow, so hop to it.


3 Comments:

  • 6:34 PM | Blogger Hules said...
    God, people just vote for the ones they can related to, or feel most sorry for.

    I mean, how else did Casey Doughnutvan win?

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  • 8:15 PM | Blogger Loz said...
    right on the money... i fucking LOATHE lisa mitchell. the only interesting part of her 'performances' is seeing how many syllables she can put into a line to avoid having to actually carry a tune.

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  • 9:33 AM | Blogger Russell Allen said...
    Lisa Mitchell = Jailbait. Fact!

    Also, the public love watching her crap herself on national TV week in, week out.

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