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Friday, September 08, 2006
"Just because you're old don't mean you're wise"

It is indeed well and truly time for Nicola Friday once more. After my silly slip up last week (I forgot to email the contributors asking "Hello, can someone have a Nicola Friday done by, er, Friday?"), I'm sure you will all agree that the delightful Samuel has done a brilliant job - enough to make up for my clumsiness. Thank heavens for that.

Some of you may all know Samuel as the genius behind Hotstufffiles, which, in case you haven't caught on, is one of the best pop music blogs online at the moment. Splendid, Superb - and so many other wonderful 'describing words' not only starting with S, Hotstufffiles manages to ignite laughter and cheer with each article printed. Again, can I get a "splendid"?!

If you're stuck on what Nicola Friday is, you may want to have a read up on it here. Also, don't forget there is an MP3 at the very bottom of the story. Huzzah.

For some reason, this week I have agreed to do this segment for Adem, and to be honest I am shitting it with the deep, deep fear of failure. On agreeing to fill the slot this week, my thoughts were of numerous different songs that Nicola could perform, but there has to be one. There has to be just one, which means that today, I am going to jump in and propose that lovely Nicola does a cover of one of my favourite Lily Allen songs - 'Take What You Take'.

Lily Allen to me, is perhaps one of the best new popstars riding that wave in to my heart, and for some reason "Take What You Take" has quickly become one of my favourite songs. Yet, this is actually quite weird, for Lily herself is well known to hate this song (or so I seem to remember after listening to an interview at 4am), so it will never get the radio airplay I feel it so needs. Nicola could give it this after that eventual split with Girls Aloud.

Right about now, you are probably thinking that it is a little funny that I am putting forward a song by a rather new artist (because despite my love of Lily, even I realize she has been around only a few months) - and not one by an established artist, yet actually it isn't.

If Nicola was to release a song that was actually well known (such as Aguilera's "Beautiful"), there will always be the people at the back saying how they believe the original was much better. With a near unknown song there wont be the Oasis-listening-music-critics around to attack it. Instead they will all simply give it five stars in their rag, encourage people to buy it, and go drink some champagne, for that is how the music industry works, isn't it?

Nicola releasing Lily's song would also be a great way of being able to stick two fingers up at the whole of the music industry, with one simple line: "what the fuck do you know?"... It seemingly does it all as a kind of botox for the vocal cords - easily transforming Nicola into this new rebellious popstar. Very shortly everyone would stop thinking of her as "that ugly bint from Girls Aloud". Instead, they would think of her as the new Lily Allen protégé - which to me, has to be a bloody good thing allowing her to do everything that she urges for. She can scream torrents of abuse at fellow popstars, throw stuff around in Chinese restaurants and maybe even (in typical Kate Moss style) break the lens of the paparazzi's cameras. And still everyone will love Nicola!

By releasing "Take What You Take", Nic would become a new person, and after the obvious number one that would follow, her debut album would enter in the charts at a remarkable number two (because number one albums are never very good) and therefore be the new popstar of England. No longer should redheads have to die their locks blonde (Madonna has always believed in Nicola and her ginger hair!! - Adem IAR), as Nicola would be about. She would show them just what one good Lily Allen cover can do!

Now, as you have got this far, in what is probably deemed 'the worse thing you have ever read', you might as well know what would go along with the main single - because we all know that Nicola isn't a cheap person! So, instead of getting Paul Oakenfold to make up a couple of remixes - and call it a CD, she would actually do a few more covers. Who would believe it?

An obvious choice for the first B-side would have to be a cover of Wheatus' "Teenage Dirtbag", mainly for the fact that after the tropical gigs with Girls Aloud, at places such as The Hammersmith Apollo - she already knows the song, which for a stroppy star like Nicola - means less work; plus, being a highly charged, raving mad female - she could easily change a few of the lyrics around to make herself look like someone who is truly dying for a shag, as we all know that a sense of being desperate turns a lot of males on. Mostly the sad ones, but that is a whole other column on relations.

Hopefully now you are wanting to hear the next tag along on the "Take What You Take" CD, and that most definitely has to be a cover of Goldfrapp's "Number One", because it is so completely different - and being Nicola, she would want to scare people. She would want to be different. She would want to be number one.

She will be number one!

Samuel

DOWNLOAD >>
Lily Allen - Take What You Take.mp3 - MEGAUPLOAD LINK

PREVIOUSLY... ON NICOLA FRIDAYS:
Madonna - Gambler
Betty Boo - Hangover
Girls Aloud - Models


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