Monday, August 28, 2006
"What's wrong with fanny-wiping?"
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 I hope you, the lovely readers of this site, enjoyed a weekend as brilliant as mine was.
I can actually proclaim that it was the "BEST. WEEKEND. EVER".
Let me take you through my Saturday afternoon. As some of you may have already known, I had an appointment set for a cut and colour with Vesna Tosevska - finalist from Big Brother 2005 - at her lovely salon in Camberwell.
I can now say that Vesna is quite possibly the greatest living person in this world, and actually manages to (somehow) be funnier in real life than she was on TV. We talked for a good four hours (about some extremely controversial topics too, which I will be keeping hidden under my belt thank you very much), discussed television, life, the fact that she still hasn't gotten any decent work out of the shows success (Harry M Miller - what kind of agent ARE you?), why she hasn't released a single yet (again, Harry M Miller - what kind of agent ARE you?), and her thoughts on Tom Cruise: "Did you hear he got dropped by Paramount?" she chirped. "No doubt it was because they finally realized he was a bit of a dickhead." It actually got better though; "and what about when he was on Oprah, destroying her furniture? I tell you now, Oprah would not have liked that, she does not put up with that kind of shit on her set."
Yes, it is true. Vesna is a genius.
The most refreshing thing to see was that Ves (we got along so well that I can now call her "Ves" you see) is exactly how I remembered her to be on television: Bright, Funny, Switched on, Funny, Funny, Funny, Fucking hilarious, Joyous, Bubbly, FUCKING HILARIOUS, FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY. Did I mention she was funny and fucking hilarious? Well, she TOTALLY was. *Flicks hair back in a Fast Forward "Dumb Street" fashion*
Let's take a look at a couple of Vesna's great hilarity filled moments from last years Big Brother.
* Vesna, whilst eating a packet of Pringles, realizes she has just finished her very last chip. In a state of fury and hunger, Vesna begins to scream at the top of her lungs. This continues for at least a full minute. (I must thank Will Fop for reminding me of this brilliant moment on Saturday evening!)
* Kate "I hate the gays and my real name is Rochelle" Whatshername is discussing with Ves and Christy how she has no clean underwear to have a shower in. Vesna then starts talking about her "femme-wipes", and how she should just use them and "give your vagina a bit of a wipe". Tim grumbles at Vesna's brilliant idea, to which the Macedonian Goddess snaps back with "What's wrong with fanny-wiping?".
Is she not the most ace woman ever?
How could all this brilliance simply not ignite so many ideas in your head of how our beloved Vesna should re-enter the public eye? Don't you think she would be great on radio?!
Well Vesna thinks she'd be great on radio too. It's a giant pity that her "hard working" agent and "the powers that be" don't seem too fussed in helping Vesna along the way though. At all. It's quite obvious that Ves has a LOT of fans and admirers still in this country - let us not forget that she came 2nd place in this years Favourite Housemate of all time poll. Let us also not forget how devastated most of Australia was when she was evicted the night before the finale last year.
I still have my nights where I cry myself to sleep because of it.
So why hasn't she graced us with the soothing sounds of her voice on the FM Dial? There are a few conspiracy theories (ones that I firmly believe are, sadly, right on the mark) as to why she's not had a single decent media job since getting out of the house ('Celebrity Ready Steady Cook' simply does not count Mr Miller). It has been well over a year on, and I think it is high time that our Ves gets what she wants.
Over the next few days I'll be launching a petition, one which, when there are enough signatures, I am going to send to every commercial radio network in Melbourne. Vesna is aware of this campaign and endorses it 100%. Also, over the next month, I'll be opening up the Official (!!) Vesna Tosevska website. Before the end of the year, with all our powers combined ("Hey! That's my line!" - Captain Planet), I am hoping we will have this absolutely gifted and spirited woman talking brilliance into a microphone for all of Melbourne to hear. I mean, FOR FUCKS SAKE, if that absolute MONGOLOID Angela from last year was able to get a job on radio, WHY HAS VESNA NOT?
I'll keep you all updated on the petition. I am expecting all of you to sign it, too.
1 Comments:
- 6:54 PM | Hayley said...
I'll sign your petition. I love Vesna too!!
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