Quite recently, Beyonce "Not-as-good-as-Kelly-coz-Kelly-says-dang" Knowles was reported to have been "furious" that Angelina Jolie had beaten her to the number #1 spot in a Sexiest Female's Poll.

Not that Beyonce had a chance at the top spot. Number #5 is the ranking she managed, making her America's answer to Jana "Pittbull" Pittman, who we all can recollect, with much endearment, as being a bit of a fuckwit.

But the 'yonce has insisted the report is rubbish. "I'm not mad that I'm number five" she says, "I'm mad I'm listed at all. Every woman is sexy because she can give birth to a baby."

Sorry Beyonce, can we hear that again?

"I'm not mad that I'm number five. I'm mad I'm listed at all. Every woman is sexy because she can give birth to a baby."

Sorry love, I'm not entirely sure I heard you correctly, please, one more time?

"I'm not mad that I'm number five. I'm mad I'm listed at all. Every woman is sexy because she can give birth to a baby."

My god. There really are no words, are there readers?

Something on the side: It should be noted that Beyonce's next single - and its video clip - are both very ace. She screams down a megaphone in the song, and lusts for Michael Douglas in the clip.

SPECIAL THANK YOU TO SCOTT, 2 BE CERTAIN FOR NOTIFYING ME OF THIS ALARMING QUOTE. HE IS BACK, BY THE WAY, AND HAS RETURNED TO THE EXCELLENT FORM WE ALL FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM FOR DURING LAST YEARS IDOL. PAY HIM A VISIT AND RE-BOOKMARK THE SCOTT.

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