Friday, October 28, 2005
She's tapping your phone, to check, who's, call-ing...
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 Hello.
That's a picture of Madonna's bottom. It's a screengrab from the video to her new single, "Hung Up", which is a little ditty about telephones and the such.
The said video will be shown on Australian television this weekend, but of course, if you cannot wait to see such brilliant images as these:
Then you could always click this link, where, apparently, there's some kind of downloadable version of it, or something like that.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
What we're doing later on today...
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 Quite possibly the most traumatic thing ever went down last night as we were slightly busy trying to finish a written masterpiece for one of those "media" places we write for.
Off we skipped to the "good room", to set our trusty VCR up to record last nights Australian Princess. It was 7:15pm.
So we went back to the PC, smiles on faces and completely unawares of the doom and pure evil being conducted in said "good room".
For that "trusty" VCR, had decided to shit itself, and chewed our fucking video tape to shredded pieces. It was 9:45pm when we discovered this. So, now not only are we without last nights Australian Princess, we are also without a VCR.
This is the second VCR we've lost this year.
So in about 10 minutes time, we're heading outside to set the VCR on fire.
Then, we're off to the shops to purchase ourselves a new device. Apparently they're called 'DVD Recorders'.
Good day.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Dirty Little Secret
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 So thanks to an amazing reader of the site, last night we sat down in the comfort of our lounge room to watch the new Madonna documentary "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret".
It is quite good. Obviously, this time round there is no fellatio performance art demonstrated with mineral water bottles, nor are there any hands inserting themselves into anyones crotch.
However, it does reveal quite a few things that we found all a bit surprising. Yes, it is indeed time for another round of "What we have learnt"...
- Guy Ritchie is probably the funniest man in existence. He goes to pubs and gets quite drunk instead of watching his wifes show, sings Irish pub songs and drinks while driving.
- Rocco Ritchie is probably the funniest child in existence. He tells sister Lourdes to "Shut Up" on several occasions, and then attacks her - and the hotel room - with a plastic sword.
- Michael Moore likes Madonna, and Madonna wants him cloned. (!!!!!!!)
- Nobody Knows Me is MUCH better live than it is on the American Life album.
- Mirwais-who?
And although Madonna, Rocco, Guy and of course Donna DeLory are all fabulous in this rockumentary, the real scene theif would have to be this man:
 That is Stuart Price. Jacques Lu Cont to some of you. He's an absolute genius and an obvious comedian. Someone, give this man his own television show, whattaguy! We really would like to keep him as our own teller of Dirty-jokes-about-kids slash producer, but apparently kidnapping is "illegal" or some shit like that.
Anywho, we got on the blower today to MTV Australia, in the misty search for a possible date when this little movie would be screened here. After being on hold for most of our lunchbreak, we were notified that "It is rather uncertain. It may well not (be screened in Australia) and could go straight to DVD."
Gasp etc.
We'll keep you updated when we know more. Until then you'll just have to take our word for it as being magnificent and all that.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Slash's Snakepit
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 Seeing as we've only just ended our mourning process in regards to the end of Six Feet Under, it's nice to now that another show of equal brilliance has taken its place as our favourite television program.
Nip/Tuck is back (well over in the states anyways - we'll be getting it on Australian screens over the summer time), and after watching the first few episodes, we can safely say it is the 2nd best thing on television in the world right now (with Australian Princess being the 1st).
Because we don't want to ruin the show for any of you who haven't been partaking in illegal activity and downloading the torrents like us common criminals, we shall not go into too much detail as to what happens. But some very important things happen in the first episodes that you should know about right now:
- Ava (Famke Janssen) returns. (Hurrah!)
- Someone from Picket Fences makes a cameo.
- Vanessa Redgrave smokes a bong.
We're not kidding either. How amazing is this season going to be if all that only happens in the first three episodes?
You will, however, remember the last season ended with an almighty cliffhanger from hell, involving luscious Julian McMahon, and THIS:
 We know. It was hard to see that face again too.
How sad is it that we lie awake at night worried someone with that mask is going to break in through our front door, paralyse us and slice apart our faces? It is probably even more embarrassing that we are more frightened of ever seeing that mask worn by a living being outside of television than we are frightened of a potential terrorist attack.
It is this very mask, that has achieved something only the 'Scream' mask wished it had. Filling us (and hopefully others) with more fear than Cheyne Coates fears glasses of water.
Please excuse us now. We have to cautiously go outside to check the mail.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Who can it be now? (x4)
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 We trust you had a wondrous weekend, fell asleep watching the Aria's like we did and have already purchased your copy of the new Rogue Traders album. Now that's out of the way, in true Madonna-doco style, we're going to "tell you a secret".
We can't say too much about this yet because there's an ungodly horrible chance it may not happen, but we've just secured (well, 98.7% security really) an interview with someone who is "very good", and knows quite a lot of very important famous people because, they are also, quite famous.
The excitement is too much to contain really.
We'd love to tell you now, we really would.
Hopefully we'll be able to spill said beans all over your PC monitor by the end of the week.
And if we haven't, we'd prefer no one asked us what went wrong.
x IAR.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
The Union State
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 This week it is all about the new Rogue Traders album. We would have previewed this for you on Friday but the amount of server bullshit we had to sift through to get our bloody Australian Princess update online was enough of a headache, so we convinced ourselves to stay very clear of the site until at least Sunday evening.
So this new Aussie release. It's really quite good. No, reeeaaally quite good. All up, 12 tracks, with only one of them being a dud filler, and only one being a crazy Janet-like interlude.
The Rogue Traders, who consist of James Ash, Stevie D and recent addition, Neighbours star Natalie Bassingthwaite (and their nameless drummer is strangely on the cover as well), have been filling the ears of Australians with good quality dance music for more than just the last 24 months. They may have indeed come far since their rather annoying INXS sampling "One of my Kind" from a few years back, or since their amazing first few singles "I Need You To Show Me" and the 'shoulda-been-number-one-for-months' "Give Into Me", but do any of you remember an act by the name of Union State? They had some corker tunes including "The One", "Out To Getcha" and "Retrosexual". Remember Thunderchild? Anyone who owns a Wild FM Compilation CD will surely fondly recall such anthems as "B Boys To The Dancefloor" and, er, "Thunderchild". These were all the masterworkings of James Ash and Stevie D.
The boys began their reign of dance when they worked over at Melbourne's 89.9 Hitz FM (R.I.P.), where the two were on-air jocks. Cut a long story short, they've pushed and worked ever-so hard on getting their sounds heard, they are now probably the biggest pop band in the country and will, hopefully, take over the world very soon.
But onto the album. It's called "Here Come The Drums"...
BELIEVER
Quite the ferocious opener, with a dirty guitar intro which leads Natalie into singing "Just come on and say you love me/One more time what you waiting for/I just got paid I won't be lonely/So take my hand, what you waiting for?/I'm a believer". Strong and solid way to open an album filled with potential singles... 9.5/10
VOODOO CHILD
First single that introduced Natalie the vocalist to the world. Not only one of the bands stronger moments, but probably the best Australian release this year by a longshot. 10/10
WAY TO GO!
Second single (which has debuted at number #15 on the Aria charts) which boasts the legendary line "Fake it baby, they won't even know". Charmingly good, with Nat almost breaking into a feisty rap. 9/10
WORLD GO ROUND
Sounding like a vocally gifted Holly Valance, Natalie coo's and aah's about not being "That type of girl, but you're my type of guy/Come a little closer darlin', and I'll show you why". This is what the Bodyrockers only dream they sounded like. 8/10
RESCUE ME
Unfortunately, no, this isn't an electro-pop cover of the Madonna classic. Instead it's a rather wishy-washy ballad that sounds more like a bit of an after-thought rather than a solid album track. Still, it's a lot better than most of the shit in the charts at the moment, ballad or not. 6/10
WATCHING YOU
Will be a big favourite when played live, and within the first 10 seconds, it's easy to see why. Heavily sampling The Knack's "My Sharona", as great as it is - sounds a little too much like 'Voodoo Child'. However hearing Natalie sing "I need a little edge with my electro-pop" makes up for any disappointment found within the song. 8/10
CHANGE THE CHANNEL
Interlude. Which has some great 2 second beat samples through it that we'd like to hear more of. 7/10
WE'RE COMING HOME
The first track that really screams "Possible single release", the heavy use of guitars is still laced through out this number, but sounds unlike anything on the whole album. Quite possibly what the last Garbage album should have sounded like. 10/10
FASHION
Another one that's all a bit like "Voodoo Child", sounds like a Cheyne Coates album off-cut rather than something that should have ended up on the Rogue Traders album. But once again, in comparison to other things out at the moment, it's really quite good. 7/10
WHITE LIGHTNING
Possibly a bit too obscure to be a single, but with an infectiously arse-shaking electro-breakbeat groove like this, it probably should be. Not only does Natalie sing "The doctors say it's over/They think I've gone insane", but she has a few amazing screaming moments. Divine really. 9.5/10
IN LOVE AGAIN
If there were any justice in the world, not only would this be the next single, but it would be Number #1 in ever single country in the universe. Swapping the heavy-rock guitar sound for a keyboard-synth, this is not only the most club-friendly moment on the album, but probably the best. Natalie's voice is intensely sharp and on-the-ball through the entire 5 minutes, and the vocoder background vocals supplied by Mr James Ash add to the electrifying mood of this song. Surely this must be shared with the world. 10/10
CASTING ASIDE
Natalie does not sing on this one. Instead it's Rogue Trader James Ash who takes to the microphone for this rather filler-ballad. A bit of a disappointment to end the album this way, but at least we can safely say the man sounds alright on vocals. This will grow on you after a few listens... 6.5/10
So overall, this is a very strong album. The Rogue's prove they're here to stay for a few more years, and Natalie shows us an exquisitely remarkable display of being the most exciting pop star the country has seen in years. Mark my words: This is probably going to be the 4th most important album you buy this year.
Overall trading cards out of 10? I'll say 9. Close to being a full 10 but not quite.
"Here Come The Drums" out nationally tomorrow through SonyBMG.Labels: Album Reviews, Australian Pop, Rogue Traders
Friday, October 21, 2005
Princess' hate the faggots
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 How exciting was this weeks Australian Princess?!
Well, not much, but nonetheless, entertaining.
We were introduced to Jackie O's pet dog Molly, who suspiciously does NOT look like the same dog she left on the roof of her car in those stupid car adverts. Is it dead? Did she leave it on the car again - and this time it fell off and was hit by Andrew G's car? Or has she eaten it during a bizarre ritual involving re-runs of Cybil and a needle filled with smack? We will never know.
But this week, it truly was all about Zena A. Not only does her voice sound like that of the love-child belonging to Melanie C and a Chalkboard, but she just so happens to be deaf in one ear. Now we love Marlee Matlin just as much as the next person, but her 'voice' is endearing - and quite inappropriately funny. However if Zena's voice had a "feeling", that feeling would most certainly be that of having your scrotum or labia violently hacked at by a cheese grater.
The remaining eight Princesses were then instructed to get out of a car correctly (we were shocked that tumbling out was not satisfactory, how on earth has Fergie been getting away with it for so long?), and were shown how one removes and hands the butler their coat. Of course, things turned rather pear-shaped, resulting in a sleeve (YES, A SLEEVE!!! HOW PREPOSTEROUS!) almost falling to the ground during the passover.
We know. We were just as horrified as Jean.
The girls were then taken to their first press conference, where Zena A made a fucking falafel of herself by answering every question with "That is irrelevant". Could Zena be the Laura Gissara of Australian Princess? We're starting to think so.
Then, off to the Ronald McDonald House, to read "The Ugly Duckling" to some kids. It was with that announcement, Zena A and her obvious excitement, came out with this:
"So many people out there would love the chance to, you know, go see some little kids."
If by "so many people", she means "The Jackson Family", then yes, we see her point.
Our ladies were then taken to Charlie Brown, to handpick some dresses for a formal dinner with some Princess named Tamara. (You can only imagine our disappointment when it actually WAS a Princess Tamara, and not actually Tamara Jabber.) Zena A picked a dress that Abby later wanted to wear as well. In a true Single-White-Female fashion, Zena A displayed her anger in a cold and stern way. She then went on to say how excited she was to be shopping at Charlie Brown's store, as she had read their book...
"Oh no... sorry, that's Bobby Brown..."
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT!! Bobby Brown?! This has simply got to be the most fucking fantastic television show in the world right now.
The girls then took a cooking lesson, in making faggots. Again, we were left bitterly disappointed when it was revealed that 'faggots' were actually some form of Scottish pig heart delicacy. Zena A triped on about how she felt like she was going to vomit when she ate them, but we were more surprised at the knowledge she still had gag reflexes.
Some haircut makeovers 'went down', some of them looked good and others, quite shit. Time for the dinner party, and guest of honor Princess Tamara (who's the cousin of someone's brother or some sod like that) welcomed the ladies, with our dear Wendy somehow still managing to look like she'd been plucked straight from a wheelbarrow in Moe. Bless. Ally then complained about not being able to hook into her prawn without a knife - apparently using a knife was not on during this 'stage' of the meal. This was, clearly, a big problem for Ally, as she wasn't giving up a "free prawn". Eventually she saw Princess Tamara tucking into her food with a knife, and butchered into the prawn. Hurrah.
Zena M - Australian Princess' answer to Big Brother's Vesna, said some very funny things, and also looked quite stunning with her new straightened hair. It's amazing what a hair straightener can do, isn't it?
Laura K - former stripper and IAR favourite, paraded around looking fabulous for the whole episode, and her brilliant sunglasses made another cameo appearance. Thank goodness for that.
Slightly annoyed Jane Ferguson's screentime ran for a total of 30 seconds, but really, with the amount of Zena A gold they had to screen, it's very evident that it was more than necessary.
Sadly, Zena A was shipped home this week. Bittersweet victory really...
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Madonna in "Offensive Jokes are quite funny!" Shocker!!
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 We're extremely 'Rocco-Crazy' today, with music orientated documentaries flying in and out of the office (Rachel, Girls Aloud and now this). On Friday evening in the USA, Madonna's new tour rockumentary "In Bed With Madonna Version 2.0" "Truth Or Double Dare" "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret" will screen on MTV.
There is a 10 minute "sneak-peak" floating around online, and in it, Madonna, mother of two children, laughs quite ferociously at a joke told by Jacques Lu Cont (aka Stuart Price):
"What's the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds? There's 20 of them"
Madge also decides that, prior to telling her handful of dancers they're going to be apart of her tour, asking if "Any of you smoke crack?" is an admirable ice-breaker and worthy question prior to employment. But the real clincher is that we think one of them possibly DOES admit to smoking crack. This is fine by Madonna however, she just asks him to do it "less".
Her dancers also seem to be quite jovial, with one looking a bit like Dougie Poynter, and another who loves to flash her underwear and seems to generally be quite endearingly psychotic.
There is also another scene, in which Madonna and dancers are discussing the significance of the religious costumes for one of the songs in the tour. Mo then tells them to "Obey the laws of the universe!"
This is going to be absolutely fucking sensational.
Rachel in "I'm really not that boring at all" Shocker!!
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 It is no secret that we adore Rachel Stevens at IAR. In fact, some may say it is of an obsessively unhealthy nature. So, you can imagine our sadness when we heard that over the weekend, residents of the UK were treated to the Rachel Stevens rockumentary, "My World". This, of course, was so upsetting because our offices seem to be located in Australia, and not, say, London, as we would like.
In said 'rocko', Rachel talks about:
- Being fat!
- Testicles!
- Her Gym Routine!
- Her Mum!
- Being an easy date!
- Fish!
- S Club 7!
- Her Career!
In all seriousness, it's rather good, and Rachel proves that she actually does have somewhat of a pulse. Yes, it really is all a bit too much to handle.
So hang on, how did we manage to watch it again?
Well, why don't you click one of the links below, and find out for yourself by downloading "My World" in two parts...
LO/Dial Up: part 1 | part 2
[windows media file | rapidshare.de]
HI/ADSL: part 1 | part 2
[mpeg video file | megaupload.com]
SPECIAL THANKS to the amazing folk on the RSO forums (especially 'Glori') and Mr RSO himself for the videos.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Elizey as 1,2,3...
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This week, there really are only 2 pieces of music you will need to purchase, and your contribution to the world of pop shall be fulfilled for this week. One of them, as we all know, is Rachel Stevens' new album 'Come & Get It', which you would have already, no doubt, purchased by clicking this link.
However, pictured is the brand new single from Elize. Most of you will know this song, it is called "Automatic (I'm Talking To You)". It's a very good pop song and, quite possibly, one of the top 5 of the year.
That single right there has just been released in Australia this week through Central Station Records, the record company who - in the past, have brought us brilliance such as Nikki French, Hocus Pocus, Intermission and more recently, The Slinkee Minx and Infernal.
Too good to be true, isn't it?
Well no, not really.
Anyway, we strongly suggest that once you have finished reading various items on this site, that you head into your automobile or chosen mode of transport, drive merrily down to your local music outlet, and buy a copy of the mentioned single.
Or, alternatively, you can just buy it online.
Even our Mum likes it! Surely that's incentive enough for you to buy it.
ps: Yes, we the site had some 'down-time' today, and the lovely folk from our server apologise. Apparently it was some necessary server maintenance that required all the sites to go down for a few hours. But they're remarkable folk and have not only turned the servers back on, but apparently somethings been fixed. Hurrah!
Monday, October 17, 2005
Weird Science
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There really aren't any words to describe how amazing the cover for the new Girls Aloud single is. The song is called Biology, and they are in test tubes. LOOK AT THAT WILL YOU?! Isn't that just such an enormously wonderfull and novel idea?!
If you take a closer gander, you will notice that god-like-figure Nicola Roberts is the only one wearing black heels, whilst the other girls are wearing red.
Obviously, this is because Nicola already has other 'sections' of her body that are naturally red, and the Feng Shui balance of black heels was more than necessary.
Obviously.
And that's the other, slightly more boring CD2 cover.
The video clip is really quite good, without it actually being all that great. It also helps that the song itself is one of their strongest moments. Apparently it's (the video) available in a somewhat downloadable format by clicking here.
 Pictured to your left is world famous UK Hard Dance DJ Lisa Lashes.
She was in Melbourne on Saturday evening to play one of those "gig" things those wacky disc jockeys partake in on a regular basis.
It was quite exciting, with Lisa playing a few records (big round mp3's) on a couple of turntables (larger version of an iPod), to a mass of screaming fans. She ripped out a few corkers, throwing in some Prodigy, Afrika Bambaata and even Michael Jackson in there for good measure. Fantastic set, and we are quite convinced that Lisa is hot enough to be the new star of "Footballers Wives", that is, if she has any remote interest in becoming an actress, which we're quite sure she does not.
Yes, it was all just a tad exciting, even if the place was flooded with disgusting rave types and we walked out with serious yeast infections.
Being the hard-hitting media-pass carriers that we are, we were lucky enough to secure an interview with the gorgeous brit:
IAR: Hello Lisa, how are you?!
LISA: Very well! And you?
IAR: Very Well, yes!
Amazing.
Friday, October 14, 2005
The greatest threesome since the movie of the same name
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 We were near heart-attack status when these pictures arrived 'on our desk' so to speak. Apparently at the end of the last McFly show over in the UK, the three sexiest guys in pop (Top: Danny, Middle: Dougie and on the "bottom": Harry, just in case you thought they were all named 'Heather') took most of their clothes off, galloping about the stage whilst touching and fondling each other.
We're lead to believe this went on for a bit. It is times like these we hate living in Australia.
There are more of these amazing pictures to be found on the lovely Heather's website (thank you dear friend), which can be found on this section of the intraweb. We urge you to head on over, as there are plenty more happy-snaps including a picture of Tom possibly gearing up for a french-kiss with Dougie.
We're embarrassingly hot and bothered over this, it's all just a bit too much for a Friday really...
Enjoy the weekend popsters!
x iar.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Dipped in Honey
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 Another week, another episode of Australian Princess, another "clever" photoshop experiment.
Yes, this truly shithouse show that we cannot stop watching is now somewhat of a regular 'thing' to the site. How exciting for all of you.
For those of you that have either not seen the show or live outside of Australia, Australian Princess is the trashiest television reality series to hit our screens since the brilliant Temptation Island (and anyone who claims the American versions were better than the amazing Australian one, seriously need to rethink the direction they're going in life).
So in this weeks outstanding episode, Laura K - who we're just loving - had a sook, wore amazing sunglasses, and called the dirty tramp Jean Brooke-Smith "honey", which Jean did not like. No doubt this is because the so called "etiquette expert" is actually a blood sucking vulture, without a heart or the ability to love or be loved, and does not compute the intended heartfelt warmth of the term "honey". She is, without a doubt, a virgin. A virgin in a world where men would turn to soft fruit for pleasure. We almost pity her, but then we look at her fucking horrible face and decide to vomit all over ourselves instead. On the shows website, they are actually trying to convince the consumer that Jean was once a model - yes, a model for the blind, perhaps.
Paul Burrell is the annoying former butler to Princess Diana and co. This week he had aneurysm over the incorrect pouring of tea. Shouldn't HE be fucking doing it? Isn't HE the butler? This is NOT "Australian Butler" surely? Why the fuck is potential royalty doing all the work?
This simply does not happen behind the doors of ANY royal palace in the world, the HELP is hired AS THE HELP. So naturally, you would think the help, that are more than likely being over paid, would get off their lazy arses and pour the fucking tea. But according to this wanker, it's the job of a princess. Fuck off please.
And as for Jane Ferguson - bless her heart, this week we've come to the conclusion that she's actually uglier than sister Fergie, but still much easier to look at in comparison to Jean.
The wacky wannabe Princess' went on a sailing expedition this week, teaming up with Olympic Medalist's Matt Hayes (who's face could not hide the absolute delight of being surrounded by so many women) and Jenny Armstrong (who's facial expressions just screamed "This sailboat is an All You Can Eat Salad bar, and as for all this vagina: my food"), who had an alarmingly unusual Eric-Stoltz-in-"Mask" look about her.
Then they got rid of one of the blondes and the Indian, with our favourites Laura K and endearing bushpig Emily (who reminds us of Mare Winningham from St Elmo's Fire) through to the next round.
So what have we learnt after that riveting hour of television? Next week is going to be super-fun with Peter Timbs (who?) from the very first Big Brother still pretending he's a journalist in front of anyone who actually still cares, We have also learnt that we really do miss Temptation Island, and that Jackie O is still the worlds slimiest Ugly Midget Muckhole Slut.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Mum & Get It
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 We've had an overwhelming response (no, seriously we have) asking where our dearly beloved Mother has gone since she helped us review the Rachel Stevens album back in September. We've even had a marriage proposal emailed to us.
Quite.
Indeed, we have been trying to rip her away from her gardening to help us review more albums, but nothing has quite grabbed her since Rachel's collection of goods.
Mum's response to the Sugababes album?: "What is this shit? Don't bother me with such nonsense."
Mum's response to the Jo O'Meara album?: "Turn that whinging cunt off."
Mum's response to the Liberty X album?: "Oh for god sakes just leave me alone. Who in gods name are Liberty X? I've never even heard of these idiots. Please put something else on."
See. You cannot say we haven't tried, it's just our mother is rather difficult knows what she likes, and more importantly, detests what she does not.
So the next appearance from the great lady will have to hold off until Madonna's new album is released. She likes Madonna. And won't review anything other than that, according to her. So November it is.
But for those of you who have already become quite the 'Ardcore fans, here's a little incident that occurred earlier this week that involved Mum and Rachel Stevens. After returning from the movies, being "treated" (!!!!) to the "amazing" (!!!!!!!!!) Deuce Bigalow 2, mum excitedly told us that:
"Your friend (!!!!!!!) was in the movie we saw tonight, that Rachel Stevens lass, bless her heart. Her song was at the end of it all too! You should really go watch it. It's not a very good movie at all, but she's quite nice."
And there you go.
It's not right, But it's OK
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See that boy pictured there?
His name is Ryan Donowho. Who? (haha etc) He's one of those 'special guest' type people that appear on popular television programs. The particular television program this sexual beast appears on, is The O.C.
But wait - The O.C. hasn't returned to Australian screens, now has it? Well, no, but for those of us lucky enough to have 'previewed' (by 'previewed' we mean 'downloaded') the first four episodes of season three, you too will have been amazed and inappropriately turned on by this Mr Donowho, an actor who is playing a 17 year old student at Marissa's school.
Thankfully, the actor himself is actually 20something years of age, making it fairly OK for us to be thinking of him naked.
He will appear in several more episodes of The O.C, and has previously worked on the amazing TV series "Strangers with Candy", and some less-than-impressive movies we've already forgotten the names of.
This is all we know about Ryan Donowho, and probably all you will need to know of him too.
See that boy pictured there?
His name is Shawn Pyfrom. He stars alongside the greatest woman alive, Eva Longoria, as Andrew Van De-Kamp in Desperate Housewives. In this particular television show, Mr Pyfrom 'acts' as the 16 year old son of vivacious red-head Bree, played by Kimberley from Melrose Place.
Thankfully, the actor himself is actually 18 years of age, making it fairly OK for us to be thinking of him naked. In a bed with Ryan Donowho.
However, we're probably breaking all the rules if these two guys get thrown into the equation.
Oh dear.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Top of our pops
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 Well would you look at that.
We've updated the IAR Top 50 Chart. So much so, it's technically a top 60 chart. In this definitive listing (which will now miraculously update "itself" once a month), you will find new entries from Madonna, Girls Aloud, Son Of Dork (our new favourite band), Rachel Stevens, Jay Jay Johanson, Princess Superstar alongside a bevy of others, including last months number #1 which has slightly stumbled itself to number #35. (!!???!)
To make things ever more exciting, the countdown will be slimmed down once a month to 20, and go live to "air". Yup, the imalwaysright.co.uk Top 20 chart will air every 2nd Friday of the month on our weekly radio show Medication, which can be found on 94.7 The Pulse from Midnight.
Alternatively, for those who cannot pick up said station on their tuning device of choice, it will be made available for easy compact download each month from the downloads section.
We know, we can't believe we still have a show either.
What we learnt after this weekend...
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 This weekend we were sent on rather important 'Media Business' to review the Godskitchen rave party in Melbourne (it's just constantly all work and no play for us etc etc).
We saw the likes of Nick Warren, Hybrid, Gabriel & Dresden, BT, Tom Neville, and local spinners such as Boogs, Jewelz, Sean Quinn and a stack of others.
They were all very good (we think.)
After the stereotypical tripping-over-dead-ravers on the way out once the event had closed its doors, here are some things we learnt from our "experience".
- Progressive-Trance is the new Black.
- Progressive-House is not.
- Dido should give up her 'pop' 'singing' 'career' and focus on Trance Vocals only.
- Stomping on one foot, swigging a Smirnoff Ice, pretending that we're Alison Goldfrapp whilst Hybrid played "Ooh La La" may have been a great idea at the time. But cut to Monday, we are now unable to walk properly and may actually still be hungover/scattered.
- Panadol, Nurofen, Nurofen Plus and Advil do NOT help.
- Xanax does.
- Hearing remixes of The Killers and Franz Ferdinand in a stadium of rave is a small indication of what heaven may sound like.
- Gabriel & Dresden are better than BT.
- Hybrid like Pop Music.
- Nick Warren's still got "it".
- Ravers are absolute idiots and should all be eradicated off the face of the earth.
- If we never see a glow-stick for the rest of our lives, we will die a very happy website.
So that's that then.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Wicked Games
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 Lord almighty.
The new Girls Aloud single is VERY good.
VERY good.
There's a piano! There's Nadine (pictured right) sounding as amazing as ever! And then there's THAT more-infectious-than-hep-b chorus!
Yes! Girls Aloud are back in a true 'vengeance' style.
Thank goodness for that.
Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999
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 Hark yourself back to the glory days of trance.
Wasn't it fun? When Paul Van Dyk ruled pretty much everything in your life, and the Melbourne Docklands were a very typical place to find yourself and a myriad of people who would say "I feel like I've know you for years... let's be friends out of the scene."
You know, back in the days when MDMA wasn't cut up with fibreglass and it actually worked.
So not only are we pissing off this weekend to Godskitchen over at Melbourne Park, we're also turning the show tonight into a dance classics special, to really 'bond' with the old raver in us.
Show? For those of you who don't know, there's an IAR radio show, Friday Nights from Midnight till 2am on 94.7 The Pulse. Never fret - if you cannot catch it, we usually post the links in our 'download' section when we can be fucked. It's not very good but it gives us 2 hours a week to swear our heads off and play some music, so at least we're having fun.
So, we hope you have a wonderful weekend whatever it is you're doing. We're off to get arrested!
x IAR.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
West Side till I "Di"
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 What an absolute car crash of a television program.
So much so, we decided a good half hour before the first episode had even begun, that we would not be indulging in the 30 minutes of television airtime it took up.
Into the IAR-Automobile we hopped and made our way to the "video" store (remember them?!) to hire some "DVD's". The fact that we may or may not have been inebriated on something is possibly the reason why we hired 7 (count that - seven) South Park titles, but whilst we were browsing through, we felt the cold winds of possibly being ambushed by an original episode of Popstars.
To our horror, the "video" store had "Australian Princess" playing. And Jackie O's vile/vulgar/ grotesque /slutty face was beamed across the 10 televisions they had in the store. Then, to make things even more appalling, the contestants were discussing Princess Diana and how tragic it was when she died. The following quote is a re-enactment of some bitch's original quote of what went 'down' in her mind when Princess Diana passed on...
"When I heard she (Princess Diana) died, I couldn't believe it. I kept saying "NO It's not true". It couldn't be true, you know, like 2pac."
Like 2pac. Amazing.
For the whole 25 minutes it took us to choose seven South Park titles, we managed to see enough of the show to come racing back home in aid of not missing out on the first elimination.
Now, not only are we possibly hooked on the worst television show since Let Loose Live!, we still haven't watched ANY of those South Park titles.
Fuck.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Not again...
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 Look at this will you.
Rachel's midweek for "I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)" is sitting at number 10.
NUMBER 10.
Just like "So Good" and "Negotiate With Love" did. This is the most heinous pop-related crime in the history of music. United Kingdom: Do you hate Rachel THAT much?
We are quite tired of the constant stress and agony being a Rachel Stevens fan causes, damaging our health with worry each night that she may not have a place to live soon etc etc. We are also very tired of people telling us how great she is, and then not BUYING HER STUFF.
You know what to do, don't you?
 UK Viewers: Purchase "I Said Never Again" from your retail outlet of choice OR purchase the mp3 from the iTunes download store here.
 Australian & Other Residents: If you're like us lovely Aussie's that cannot buy from iTunes, PURCHASE THE CD ONLINE FROM HMV UK. It may take about a month to get to you, but the sale goes toward chart count as soon as you hit 'Pay'. Purchase both CD01 and CD02 to win our absolute love and admiration.
The absolute horror and doom we are facing if Rachel isn't AT LEAST Number #9 by this Sunday is going to be of massive proportions.
We're already not eating after the Ab Fab news from the other day, god only knows what we'll end up doing on Sunday.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
='(
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 Well we officially want to kill ourselves more than ever before. Comedy star Jennifer Saunders is quitting acting.
The 47-year-old actress also says she will never write another series of her TV show, 'Absolutely Fabulous', because she thinks she's too old to play her famous role of Eddy Monsoon.
Worst. News. Ever.
We're going to weep without Bubble, smoke less with no Patsy and simply commit suicide without the amazing 'Titicaca' Sarah. And where is the apparent GHB episode that was banned and we've never gotten to see?! First 'Six Feet' and now 'Ab Fab'? This is quite easily shaping up to be the most horrific thing to happen to popular culture since Adriana Xenides' stint on Celebrity Big Brother.
BUT... according to those in the know, there's a new show with Dawn French and Joanna Lumley (Patsy) that is being filmed probably as we speak, and was written by Jennifer Saunders.
ALSO... there is the unthinkably awesome internet rumour that Jennifer is set to work on an Ab Fab spin-off next year.
DO YOU SEE?! DO YOU S E E ? ! ! ! !
The rumour going around is that Jennifer is penning a script for "The Bo Show", giving Ab Fab favourite Bo Chrysalis (played by the spectacular Mo Gaffney) her own spin off. Do you see the sheer brilliance this idea projects? DO YOU?
WOULD THIS QUITE POSSIBLY BE THE MOST AMAZING TELEVISION PROGRAM IN THE HISTORY OF MOVING PICTURE?
YES. YES IT WOULD.
Monday, October 03, 2005
The quintessential "Madonna is great" update Part II
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 Take a good look at this screen grab.
It is from Madonna's official website, madonna.com. Why is this so important? Well, the official website now contains a 30 second high-quality preview of the chorus (WITH vocals) to "Hung Up". Yep, the bitch is STILL teasing, but in a true 'what-will-she-think-of-next' form, good 'ol Madge is letting you join in on the fun as well.
Yes, you too can sing along to "Hung Up", a song you have not heard in full yet but probably already know all the words to anyways, so there's really no need to follow the highlighted lines. But let's do it anyway.
Amazing really.
The quintessential "Madonna is great" update Part I
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 So it's been at least 7 minutes since we last went on madly about how amazing Madonna's new album is going to be, with, of course, actually not hearing any of it as yet, so we thought it was about time we did it again.
Album of the year? It's an assumption we're willing to make, etc etc.
Over the weekend, Pete Tong played the world exclusive Dub Version of Madge's new single "Hung Up" on his amazing Radio1 program, and it is already available online in high quality sound for download.
And simply it is true genius, without question. Can you possibly blame us for spending most of our Sunday morning/afternoon/evening with it blaring through the house as we danced our way through breakfast, lunch and dinner? It was extremely heart breaking at 7:30 when we had to switch the CD player off to watch Australian Idol, and we almost forgot Idol was even on.
So If the dub version can give us that much of an erection, WHAT WILL THE FULL VOCAL VERSION DO TO US?
We're expecting the full single to leak any day now, so we've got tissues, a mop and garbage bags gallore to clean up the mess we'll no doubt splatter through the IAR offices, on the ready.
No, you cannot find the Dub Mix in MP3 format by clicking here, of course not.
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