Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Dorks!
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 James Bourne from Busted from Son Of Dork wants you to know he and his new band have just released their debut L.P, "Welcome To Loserville".
It's quite a fun little record (ask your parents folks), but would dorks really listen to this?
It's time for an IAR investigation...
Ticket Outta Loserville
Line: "Flashback to 17, got my arse kicked by the football team"
What It's NOT About: A toy train set.
About: Guy is total geek, guy gets hot girl, girl fucks him around and guy catches girl with other guy. Guy sad.
Loserfactor: Quite dorky, yes. There's more than one Star Trek mention too.
9/10
Eddie's Song
Line: "Said he screwed a different girl at the aftershow"
What It's NOT About: Eddie from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
About: Eddie. He has 27 kids that he has no idea about.
Loserfactor: Dorks don't actually have sex, so this is really not that dorky at all, is it?
7/10
Little Things
Line: "To watch you playing badminton, with all your slutty friends"
What It's NOT About: Tom Cruise.
About: Guy who's fallen for this wondrous girl (!!!) for all the little things she does. She has slutty friends, and she's a bit of a cow.
Loserfactor: Binoculars and Badminton are all mentioned. Clearly that combination is a dorks paradise, is it not?
5/10
Party's Over
Line: "Party's over, I just watched my girlfriend get laid on the sofa, Does that seem weird to you?"
What It's NOT About: The S-Club Break-up.
About: Guy throws party, his woman fucks another guy - on his sofa - after a game of poker.
Loserfactor: It's all a bit emo more than anything else - which, we guess, does equal "Massive Dork". Or at least "Major Fuckwit".
4/10
Boyband
Line: "Good Charlotte said they like McFly"
What It's NOT About: East 17
About: Someone joining a boy band, after quitting his job etc.
Loserfactor: Not very much at all, we like boybands here.
6/10
Sick
Line: "Redemption: Is that a sin? I'd never run him over..."
What It's NOT About: The Two Fat Ladies
About: Chick cheats on guy, guy ponders slitting her throat and running the other guy over with his car. It's all a bit dark, scary and stalker-ish. Best song on the album.
Loserfactor: Dork's sometimes go off on stalking sprees, yes?
10/10
Slacker
Line: "He's getting sharp pains in his wrist, in his world girlfriends don't exist"
What It's NOT About: Television show "Models Inc."
About: A computer hacker/s who is a rather shitful excuse for a human being.
Loserfactor: The highest you can get on the dork-rictor scale.
7/10
Holly... I'm The One
Line: "I know, I'm dumb, but Holly... I'm the one"
What It's NOT About: Holly Valance
About: Some bird named Holly, who, funnily enough, is not with any of our friends from Son Of Dork. Ho fucking hum.
Loserfactor: It's that whole emo thing again.
7/10
Wear Me Down
Line: "Feels like there's something missing"
What It's NOT About: A shoddy pair of jeans.
About: Breaking it off with a girl because she's a sordid cow every minute of the day.
Loserfactor: Somewhat dork-ish.
8/10
Murdered In The Mosh
Line: "Instead all I found was a letter, her correspondence with some popstar magazine"
What It's NOT About: The Monster Mash
About: Another fucking girl, this time she pretends to like Janes Addiction and Sonic Youth. Jesus Christ, talk about alienating the possibility of a gay audience!
Loserfactor: She's no loser, she likes the Backstreet Boys, duh!
1/10
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Verdict:
Well it seems this really is music Dorks can enjoy whilst playing Worlds Of Warcraft. Obviously not as good as anything Busted released (who did not have any material as good as anything McFly have released), but is probably better than anything Fightstar have done, which therefore makes this a pretty triumphant return for James.
In three words?: It's Good enough.
Mathew Broderick's out of 10?: 7/10
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