Friday, September 23, 2005
Giss Shoot Me
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 We like to watch Australian Idol here at IAR. Every year in fact. Sadly, each fucking year we develop a favorite and they get booted out early. We already began this year having near coronaries everytime Roxane was told to go home, and the thought of Bendigo-Bogan Kate leaving is just too sad to even contemplate. So to prevent us from the pain of previous years, we've decided to back the most hated woman in Australia at the moment, Laura Gissara. Why? Imagine if she DID win? The outrage across the Country would be tremendously insane. It would be the greatest joke ever performed on reality television, a show which, two winners running, has proven is a crock of shit anyways.
Tell us this: would an American or British pop music enthusiast purchase a Guy Sebastian or Casey Donovan CD? NOT EVEN THE AUSTRALIANS DO! So, in our new Friday afternoon tradition, after last weeks ridiculously successful (!!!) 'Things to make & Do', we've masterminded another half-arsed list...
5 REASONS IT'S GISS FTW!
 1. Her heartwarming rendition of En Vogue's "Don't Le Go (Love)" was truly so breathtaking and unreal that we can only wait with baited breath for her to do "Free Your Mind" on 90's night.
 2. She is probably the only person who would be able to pull off the costume to accompany her performance of "Flashdance (What A Feeling!)" on 80's night without looking like too much of a fuckwit.
 3. Unlike James, Laura's teeth are very well kept. They don't look as if they're about to crumble and fall out from some strange form of bird-flu that's nested itself into her cavities.
 4. You know as well as we do, that if Laura had been old enough to audition for the second Popstars, she would have been in Scandal'us instead of Tamara Jabber Simon Ditcham. Which would obviously have resulted in Scandal'us set to release their 4th number #1 album, produced by Xenomania, before Christmas 2005.
 5. Mark Holden, who has produced the music and albums of such profound and respected pop stars such as Milla Jovovich, David Hasselhoff and Donny Osmond, thinks Laura has no talent. Give her the recording contract now, we say.
Hrmm.
Of course, we're REALLY rooting for Emily and Kate. But they're not as comical as our beloved Laura is, so they don't get a top 5.
We're a bit low on ideas lately aren't we?
1 Comments:
- 9:33 PM | Alyson with a Y said...
It's great to see a site that not only says nice things about us in the links, but is also saying Go the Giss!
Top 5 is the minimum! Laura doing Pon De Replay is my ambition!
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