Thursday, September 15, 2005
Does your mother know?
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 No this isn't the cover for the new Rachel Stevens album "Come & Get It", but it is, however, the best fan made one going around at the moment, and it'll have to "do" for the latest IAR Rachel Update.
Because everyone on the internet will be reviewing this album on their websites, we've decided to take a different approach. We'll (that being "us") be describing the song in a sentence or two, followed by our dear mother (!!!!!), who will also be commenting on each song (she really does love Rachel). Then we'll sum it up and rate the whole shebang out of 10 Rachel gloves. Exciting? No, not really, but let's get on with it.
SO GOOD
WE SAY: "Excellent opener, excellent single, crap clip, marvelous gloves."
MUM SAYS: "Quite lovely. She sounds like Dannii Minogue a bit here..."
CRAZY BOYS
WE SAY: "The new Richard X/Hannah Collaboration that is one of the greatest songs of our time."
MUM SAYS: "It sounds like something I listened to when I was younger... which is a very good thing.
JE M'APPELLE
WE SAY: "A little bit Ciara, quite RnB and not very Rachel, but we're somewhat drawn to it."
MUM SAYS: "Pretty stinky."
I SAID NEVER AGAIN (BUT HERE WE ARE)
WE SAY: "One of the singles of the year. Very "Ballroom Blitz" by The Sweet. Outstanding."
MUM SAYS: "Just Lovely. It's like Adam & The Ants, I feel like dancing to this! My favorite for sure. If only more music was made like this."
NOTHING GOOD ABOUT THIS GOODBYE
WE SAY: "Not as good as Alexis Strums original, but growing on us rapidly as each day progresses. Guitar bit at the end sounds a tad like Natalie's 'Torn'."
MUM SAYS: "Why's she so sad? No sad songs please. Very upsetting. She was going so well too."
SOME GIRLS
WE SAY: "One of the top 5 greatest pop songs ever created."
MUM SAYS: "I know this song don't I? YES! It's on one of my CD's! Adorable! Isn't it a bit old though?"
EVERY LITTLE THING
WE SAY: "Pleasant Enough and quite 80's of Rachel. Nice."
MUM SAYS: "Bit boring."
DUMB DUMB
WE SAY: "Second best non-single on this album, truly unreal. Bad name, gorgeous song."
MUM SAYS: "Well this is better! Song with a pulse, i likey. Reminds me of that crazy lady with sticks from Eurovision." (We later informed Mum that the crazy ladies name was Ruslana.)
FUNNY HOW
WE SAY: "Best song that isn't a single on this album. If 'Some Girls' wasn't on this album, then this WOULD be the best song here. Totally brilliant, and boasts the great line "Take these fools away from me. Genius."
MUM SAYS: "This reminds me of early Madonna. Very good. Very luscious melody and her voice is angelic here."
NEGOTIATE WITH LOVE
WE SAY: "Cutest pop song ever made. Subject to change."
MUM SAYS: "This is my 2nd favorite song on the album I think. It's very pretty. You just want to hug her and make her something to eat don't you?" (Er.....)
SECRET GARDEN
WE SAY: "Hrmm. It's not great, but there's something appealing about it. We're not quite sure what yet, so we'll get back to you."
MUM SAYS: "Oh god. Can you put the next song on please?"
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME
WE SAY: "Sounds very American, belongs on the OC or something. Still quite amazing though. Samples the Cure, which is always a good thing."
MUM SAYS: "What's happened to her voice? She sounds horrible! I don't like this. Yucky."
I WILL BE THERE
WE SAY: "Singing about a dead love. Well, kind of. Perfect ending to an almost perfect album, touching, tender and almost danceable."
MUM SAYS: "Angelic again! Well this is good to hear. Sounds like Kylie's last one a bit. Nice."
So there you have it. The I'm Always Right review, in cohorts with our dearly amazing mother. Our beloved WILL return to review other things "in the foreseeable future", or something like that.
OVERALL RATING - Gloves out of 10?
 9 out of 10... In a word?: Notfunkydory.
8 Comments:
- 4:49 AM | McAllister said...
haha! Fantastic review... if only I can find the last of the songs..
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- 3:52 PM | Scott said...
Yes, wonderful review, even if it does instil in me a fervent jealousy that you have already heard these songs and formed opinions about them.
Please, though, why must it be called "Come and Get It"? It's all a little too suggestive of Rachel's likely future career for my liking.
Please now provide for our mass consumption which four other songs round out your Top 5 with "Some Girls".
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- 1:58 PM | im-always-right.com said...
Mum sends her love to you all, along with many thanks.
As for the other 4 songs, of course these such titles are yet to be 100% decided on, so I'll get back to you very soon on that one Scott.
;o)
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- 4:12 PM | Scott said...
Well I'm startled and a little disheartened to see that "Get back to Scott on the Top 5 best pop tracks of all time" is not one of the "Top 10 things to make and do this Saturday and Sunday".
At the least, I expect it to feature in a future "Further Lists requiring IAR's attention" list. AT THE LEAST.
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- 4:12 PM | Scott said...
Scott (as Jack Nicholson) to IAR (as Helen Hunt, except with 30cm less exposed forehead and an actual beating heart): "You make me want to be a better blogger."
Marcia bless you, IAR!
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