Tuesday, August 16, 2005
BB05: What have we learnt in 100 days?
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 Another year passes, another Big Brother.
A Big Brother that seemed to start of shaky ratings wise, has turned out to be one of the biggest (and one of the best - possibly the best) Big Brothers in the country.
And no we're not going to sit here complaining about how it was an absolute monstrosity and a crime to popular culture in this country that the vivacious Vesna did not win. And we certainly won't fill you will hateful thought toward Homophobic Bird Hater and part time moron Kate, by "allegedly" "claiming" she beats up random gay people on the street.
Instead, we're going to - with pictures (amazing!!! etc etc!) - take a close look at what it is exactly we have learnt in the 100 days that Big Brother has been running.
01. Gretel Killeen is the most amazing woman on Australian Television... 5 years running. We may contradict ourselves with that most amazing woman on TV comment later on.
 02. Regardless of the fact that she was on television, and regardless of the fact that the entire country called her "Mou-chelle", Hairy Housemate Michelle still has not had the enlightening realization that she has a fucking moustache and needs to get rid of it. Michelle - you DISGUSTING BITCH - why don't you buy a tub of this and save us from further retina massacre.
 03. His new hair do may be quite horrible, but that doesn't expel the fact that he has
an amazing horse-like cock.
 04. Tim is still a dickhead and Kate's an ugly testicle that will one day be attacked by 1,000 magpies, a stunt set up by a group of frustrated and very angry teenage male homosexuals.
 05. Although his time was cut horribly short, Nelson was by far the most arrogant - yet most amazingly sexy housemate the shows had in years. We at IAR would REALLY love to see him naked again.
 06. Kelly Clarkson should concentrate on her singing career, rather than being a contestant on yet another reality television show.
 07. Not only is Mike Goldman (left) no longer annoying, he's actually an absolutely brilliant and hysterical fucking legend. We can't believe we're saying it either.
 08. Tap Dancing is about as cool and "groovy" as lung cancer.
 09. FIRST EVICTEE Angela (who looks a LOT like Angela Bishop), who was the FIRST ONE TO BE EVICTED FROM THE HOUSE, may be able to dye her hair, but that still doesn't help the fact that she's dog fucking ugly. Most hit-able woman in the country. We're of course talking about that Angela, you know, she was THE FIRST PERSON TO BE EVICTED OUT OF 18 OTHERS. WHAT A FUCKING LOSER! etc etc.
10. Vesna is the most amazing woman on Australian Television. Someone needs to either give her a TV show, or sign her up for a recording contract. It has to be done. Oh and have yet mentioned that she was robbed of the winning title?
11. Guests coming into the Big Brother house with chokers on around their necks, were previously - or almost still are - men. That is a fact two years running.
 12. Tim and Logan Greg being the last remaining finalists, eventuated into the most horrible duo in the most disgusting and horrific moment of television. Ever. Still, better Logans than that dirty Tim fellow.
 13. Sandra Sully is the most amazing woman on Australian Television. 5 years running...
What an education we have had!
Well. That's that then.
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